“Nothing, I was just saying, you always looked at Tara. Everyone knew it. I used to make bets with—” She grunts then, shaking her head. “God, there’s something—” She slams her hands down on the arms of the chair.
“Mom,” I say, starting to rise. “Maybe that’s enough for today.”
“No, no, it’s fine. I’m fine. I just want to know when Cait’s getting home.”
I stare at her and feel my heart break. I don’t know what to say and Mom shakes her head, mumbling to herself, speaking nonsense about her husband and Hugh and the nurse, none of it making any sense. She finally turns to me, twisting in her chair, and her eyes seem far away as she looks into my face, reaching out slowly to touch my cheek.
“Orin? When’s Cait getting home?” I pull away from her hand, suddenly vibrating with horror. “She’s been out too damn late. I think it’s that girl Tara. That bad one from the rotten family. She’s a bad influence, Orin, and you know it. When’s Cait getting home?” Mom rocks from side to side, teeth clenched, and I have to get up. I pace away, trembling, and call for Eunika.
She comes quickly and helps calm Mom down enough to get her back inside. I trail after them, feeling like I’m dripping blood and gore as we go. Hearing my mother ask when Cait’s coming back and listening to her confuse me for my father is too much, too fucking much. Once Mom’s safely on the elevator, I turn and stride back outside, head pounding. Little cracks are forming all over me, and I feel like I might shatter and break and scream into the empty garden.
I don’t know where I’m going. I head into the pathways, moving through the maze of cactus patches until I slow and come to a stop.
Tara’s up ahead. I watch her work, breathing hard, trying to calm down, and from this close, I can see the way her face is screwed up in concentration like she’s entirely in the moment and each motion she makes is the precise right motion she intended. Only after she collects some clipping does she look up and notice me.
“Kellen,” she says, starting slightly. “How long have you been watching me?”
“A few minutes.” I cock my head and come forward. Some of my anger’s beginning to drain away. “Busy?”
“Yes, I’m busy.” She chews her lip and squints at the sky. “It’ll be too hot to work out here soon.”
“My mother likes you, you know.” I don’t know why I say it. I’m not even sure it’s true. What she said back there is bothering me: that bad one from the rotten family.
How did Cait and Tara first meet? I can’t remember anymore.
“I doubt that honestly. Your mother hasn’t been well for a while.”
“She said so. I brought her out onto the porch and we were watching you.” I wave back at the house.
Tara frowns at me for a long moment, shading her eyes. “That’s weird,” she says finally. “Not the part where you brought your mother outside, that’s actually very sweet. Just the part where you were watching me.”
“You happened to be working in our line of sight. What should I have done, not looked?”
“Preferably.”
“Doesn’t matter. Mom likes you.”
“I guess that means we have her blessing.”
I laugh and it feels like something eases inside my chest. I didn’t realize how much tension I’d been carrying around until right this moment. Funny how Tara can make some of it ease, even when I’m wound so tightly I feel like I might break to pieces.
“I wouldn’t go that far, but I take it you’ve been thinking about my proposal.”
“Yeah, well—” She clips the hedge some more with ruthless, rough strokes, like she’s pretending it’s my neck. “It was the perfect proposal. What every girl wants. No ring, no romance. Just a business arrangement.” She looks at me, glaring hard. “I still haven’t decided.”
“You need to figure it out soon. I don’t know how long Mom’s—” I stop myself, glancing back at the house, and the silence feel heavy.
“Was she bad today?” Tara asks softly.
I look back and shake my head. “Not at first.”
“Sometimes I hear she’s pretty lucid. Other times—” She shrugs slightly.
“She thought I was my dad and asked when Cait was coming home.”
Tara winces like I slapped her. “Shit, Kellen. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. We had a good conversation up to that point.”