13
RAVEN
The space feels different.
The moment the door closes in his wake, my heart clenches and chaos grips my mind.
It’s a visceral reaction. Like an icy wind sweeping through my heart.
I stare at the door for a few good moments, coming to grips with reality, admitting my feelings. What the fuck just happened?
Why do I feel so bad? It’s not something he has done.
He left before me, so we could do our thing and arrive separately. I don’t know if anyone’s waiting at the hotel or keeping track of what we’re doing, but it helps us with our fabricated story.
It will be easier to pretend we haven’t touched each other or fucked each other in the privacy of a room.
Will it work? Seriously? Maybe nobody cares. Maybe it’s only in Alejandro’s head.
He thinks it matters in some way… And yeah, yeah, what he had said made perfect sense, but really… In reality. How much will it matter if they know or don’t know? And how much longer does he think we can hide our secret connection?
I’m not going to tell anyone. And he won’t do it, obviously. But there are other things. Things that we’ll inherently do. Like touching each other differently and fucking each other differently in front of his best friends.
And then there’s something else.
Our eyes…
The way people look at each other is always telling. This is how people with secrets end up getting caught.
But seriously… Why is there this presumption that anyone wants to know if we’ve met privately or not?
I sigh.
Still not moving.
Still trying to pull myself together. Forgetting about the complexities of the situation and focusing on how I feel.
Why am I empty like this room?
Am I supposed to feel this way?
All that thrusting into me and driving me to peaks of pleasure has made me high, and now I’m crashing.
It wasn’t only the physical connection with him. It’s everything else. His smile, touch, and that I-want-to-fuck-you-kind of look.
His bedroom eyes.
His wolfish grin.
His words.
The way he called me, touched my hair, kissed my lips.
It’s like watching a movie I’m part of, images whipping at me, stirring sensations, creating chaos. As I said before.
I need to leave.
I need to walk out of this room and clear my head. Maybe not go straight to the hotel. Unlike him, I don’t expect anyone to be there.