Joy
Linc: Hope you have a nice day.
I licked my lips as my fingers hovered over the reply bar.
Me: Morning. I typed it out quickly, adding a sunburst emoji and pressing Send before overthinking things too much. I had no idea what to make of my grumpy pen pal.
Lincoln O’Brien. The man was a mystery to me. One that despite not knowing what he looked like, intrigued me. Called to me in a way I had never expected.
Knowing I would easily stare at my phone for his response, I forced myself to shove my phone into the pocket of my knee-length skirt.
I looked out at my classroom and forced a smile on my face. I loved teaching. I loved showing these kids early on that they were capable of making a difference in the world. Of being the change they were so hungry to see outside of school. To brighten someone’s day cost nothing but a smile. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t naïve, even if I sounded like it. I knew firsthand how hard it was to do what I preached.
Today was the first time in my career when I didn’t want to be there. I’d never felt that way. Not even when I had stubborn students I hadn’t won over yet.
But as I sat at my desk, waiting for the bell to ring, all I wanted was to be back in my living room on the phone with a deep-voiced grinch.
I rolled my eyes at myself.
I was hopeless.
I had no clue who the guy was or what he looked like. Not only that, but the man was impossible. My complete opposite. Not that I could judge.
He had been through hell and back. God only knew what he had seen during the mission he’d been injured in, plus the missions that came before. My eyes drifted shut, and I could almost hear his voice in the back of my head.
One thing you gotta know about me, Joy, right here and right now, I don’t ever do or say anything I don’t absolutely mean.
The words had played on repeat all through the night in my dreams. But in the safety of my dreams, he’d stood behind me, cloaked in darkness. I could almost feel him. His strong body behind my own heated my skin and left me yearning. I had no reference to what he would feel like, but I knew in my gut he’d be warm.
Always so warm and safe.
I shook my head and pressed the back of my hands to my cheeks. I had to snap out of it. He knew what I looked like. I’d sent him two pictures, and he had never commented on them. The only way he could have made it clearer he wasn’t interested was if he’d straight up said so. His loss, a voice in the back of my mind perked up. I smiled softly. I knew I wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. A little too curvy, too round, with more than a handful on top and junk in my trunk. But I was comfortable in my own skin.
Until he hadn’t mentioned anything. Nothing about the pictures or about what I had written about myself. So, I had taken the hint. I had started to filter it out. Telling him easy things about the life that revolved around me.
Are you seeing someone?His question had thrown me for a loop. I’d started to get too emotionally attached to his letters. I wasn’t like my sister Faith, who was now with her pen pal in real life. She and her sexy major were attached at the hip now. They’d had a happy, unexpected outcome.
As much as I wanted to have a similar one, I knew better than to wish for the impossible. My own little secret. As much as I tried to be that energy you wanted to attract, I was terribly pessimistic when it came to myself. Expect the worst and hope for the best. That had been my motto.
Especially when it came to matters of the heart.
Matters of the heart and Linc. I shook my head. I was being silly, adding one and one and getting a million.
“Hey, Miss E!” Gia, one of my best students, waved. I smiled as I mentally tried to brush Linc out of my head. Not that it was easy. No. All day, and even when I got home and settled into bed, he was there. In the back of my thoughts. Always there.