I didn’t want her to know the crazy and dark thoughts swirling through me at that moment, I just needed to focus on making sure she was okay. And then, when I was with my brothers, we would make another plan. One that involved me getting my hands on this asshole who I knew now hadn’t just hurt the beautiful soul I fell in love with, but who’d been tormenting my little brother for God knows how fucking long.
Meyah’s eyes were fixed on her hands, while she shuffled nervously on her feet. “I didn’t think it had bled that much,” she whispered, her eyes flicking between her hands and mine which were only slightly better off.
“It doesn’t matter now.” I covered her hands with mine, and together we rubbed at the dried blood, and the straight tie-dye like patterns that had stained on our skin. The soap suds formed into a pinkish hue, bubbles rising and covering both our hands. She rubbed mine, her thumbs finding a particularly dark dried part in the center of my palm and going over and over it like she was performing some kind of massage. Only I could see the relief on her face when it was finally gone, her body relaxing. Blood stained soap and water swirled down the plughole creating straight patterns in the water. She’d bled more than I would have expected, and I was planning on talking to Skins later about why.
When we’d finally watched the last drop disappear down the drain, I led her back into the bedroom and helped her undress down to her underwear, and she climbed into the bed. I felt like someone had ripped away the woman I loved, and instead left this shell.
This wasn’t my Meyah.
She was broken.
She’d been protected for so long, kept wrapped in bubble wrap which was so tight she’d barely been able to breathe. Just when I thought she was finally breaking through, taking risks, showing those beautiful colors to the world and seeing it out there for what it was, I was now starting to wonder whether it was all just too much. Was she strong enough to bounce back from what would be the most traumatizing thing that’s ever touched her?
This would be a test, one I knew she could pass.
I saw her.
I knew her better than I think she knew herself.
And I needed her to fight back. Not to let this bury itself inside and poison her. She was stronger than she gave herself credit for.
Every single one of the old ladies here had been through hell and back more than once. Chelsea almost died on the floor of a dirty basement. Rose was forced into a drug induced coma and was a few hours from overdosing. Hadley had to watch one of the brothers lose his life to protect her.
This life wasn’t for the faint of heart.
People got hurt. People got killed. And not for one second did any one of my brothers or their old ladies use the word regret. They would stand in front of the people they cared for in the blink of an eye and take a bullet if they meant those they loved would walk away to live the rest of their lives.
I didn’t want to live without Meyah.
She was everything I fucking wanted.
She was more than this. She wouldn’t let it win or define her.
“She’s gonna be okay,” a soft voice assured the silent thoughts in my head, and I looked up to see Hadley standing in the doorway with a gentle smile on her face. Looking down, I realized Meyah had finally given in and was letting her body and mind rest.
She was exhausted.
Mentally, physically, just completely fucking shattered.
“How do you know?” I asked, hoping Hadley would have some great explanation which would make me feel better about claiming Meyah. I didn’t want to drag her into a life that forced her to feel like she was continually looking over her shoulder.
Fuck, it made me almost just as bad as that little asshole Nick.
I needed to know Meyah could handle this. That it wasn’t going to end up breaking her. That I wouldn’t lose her because the life and family I chose was one that pushed the boundaries and stood up for what they believed in and protected the people they cared about at whatever cost necessary.
“I’m not saying it will happen today, or tomorrow, but I see in her eyes what the club means to her. What the club has done for her and given her. She loves the club,” Hadley explained so surely as she looked down at the young girl who’d become more than just her old man’s niece, but almost like a daughter. “She loves you.”
Her words reassured me, but I had to wonder whether love was going to be enough if that asshole had gotten far enough into her head to really scare her.
“Go,” Hadley urged quietly, walking into the room with a book in her hand. “I’ll sit with her while you’re in church.”
I detangled myself from Meyah’s arms without jostling her too much. “How did the boys ever handle seeing you girls get caught in the middle of wars without losing their shit? Because right now, all I want to do is pull out my shotgun, go down to the Sheriff’s Office, and blow a hole through his fucking head.”
Hadley grinned and shook her head. “That’s something you’re gonna have to ask them.”
I fucking planned on it.
But first, I needed to find my little brother.