We weren’t cowards, we wouldn’t run, and I refused to leave this earth without knowing that I did my fucking best. I’d lived with guilt for too long now, wondering why the fuck I’m here. Why the hell did I get to stay to live with the flashbacks, the nightmares, the memories that paralyzed me?
What if this moment was it?
This was why.
I couldn’t fuck it up.
The screeching of tires coming up the street behind us drew everyone’s attention. I recognized the car instantly, it was Deacon. Without thinking, I sat up and threw my body out the window, hoping that the shooter was watching him and not me.
Using my arms, I pointed to the other side of the car, hoping that if he had any sense, he would pull up on the other side of the kid to shield her from the fuckers hiding on the side that Jess was still determined to take down one by one.
His car swerved in the direction I was pointing just as a spray of shots pelted his SUV from both sides. He skidded to a stop right in place, and Jess didn’t waste another second, bounding from the backseat and scampering across the ground to pull Sky’s little sister into her arms.
“What the fuck is going on!” Deacon called. “Op rang and said shit was getting ugly, but holy crap!” He covered his head and ducked, disappearing below the window as a barrage of bullets slammed one after another into the side of his car.
Jess appeared at the door, leaping inside with the little girl still clinging to her body, landing right on a bottle of milk which exploded all through the fucking truck, splattering us, the roof, the windscreen. “Go!” She screamed like nothing had fucking happened, slamming the door shut behind her.
Relief flooded through me.
It was short lived.
I lifted my foot to move it from the break to the gas.
I think I heard the sound first, kind of like a warning, before I felt it move through my body. The smash and crunching as something hit us at full force from behind, throwing my head into the steering wheel and tossing Skins like a fucking rag doll against the dashboard. The girls screamed in the backseat as they were thrown, hitting the front seats before tumbling to the floor in a mixture of limbs and painful cries.
My heart felt as though it might not survive as it was pounding so hard against my chest, threatening to break free. I tried to sit up, but my whole body felt like it was full of concrete. A wave of nausea crashed over me, and I fought back the vomit that was rising in my throat.
A painful groan left my mouth as I finally managed to push my head back against the headrest. Something dripped down over my face and I blinked, a vibrant red taking over my vision and stinging my eyes. The things that were going on around me seemed to turn to liquid. It was like I was inside a swimming pool.
Breath after breath, I sucked in the air after having it forced so suddenly from my lungs, yet I still felt like I was struggling.
“Knight! Calm down!” Jamison snapped as he lay on the ground next to me, looking at me through the window. “I’m gonna cut you out, but you need to just breathe.”
Couldn’t he tell, that’s what I was trying to do, but every breath seemed too shallow and felt like someone was stabbing me in the ribs with a sharp knife. “I think,” I murmured, my mouth dry and filled with dirt and blood. “I think my rib might have punctured my lung.”
“Shit!” he cursed, scrambling in the tight window frame and laying under me as I hung upside down. He flipped out his knife and started cutting at the belt. He froze for a minute, and I was about to yell at him to get me the fuck out of there when I heard it, a helicopter. It was here, for us. “Yes!” he crowed as he got back to work. “This is gonna hurt man, but it’s okay, ‘cause we are getting out of here.”
I heard the seatbelt tear, and Leo took the brunt of my body as I went head first into the roof of the vehicle. “Motherfucker!” I screamed, my whole body feeling like it had just been set alight. I instantly knew what we’d done was a big mistake. The little air that I was getting was now completely gone.
I started to wheeze as Leo wiggled his body out and then grabbed my legs, pulling me behind him. I clutched at my throat.
I couldn’t breathe.
Holy shit! I couldn’t breathe.
Footsteps were coming up beside the car. I turned my head, seeing a person slowly hobbling up the side of the truck, gripping it with one hand to keep them on their feet while a gun hung by their side.
Step.
You’re not back there, you are not in that Humvee.
Step.
Your lung is not punctured this time, you just need to take a real breath.
Step.
You’re having an episode, an anxiety attack! If you don’t hurry up and get your wits, he’s going to shoot you.
Click. The safety flicked off.