I got out of my chair and headed for the door. “Keep dreaming, Doc.”
Her laughter followed me out of the building.
Sure, kids were something I could see myself having in the future, but I was honestly sick of these women who saw me as this broken man and were determined to fix me like some fucking wounded bird. Some ran when they got a first-hand look at my nightmares. Others got frustrated when I refused to take the pills to try and stop the episodes because the pills made me feel like a fucking zombie.
I didn’t need that shit.
I would rather be fucking me, and deal with the flashes of pain than just be completely numb to everything. How would that be living? Didn’t I owe it to the friends and team members I lost to remember them and live for them?
I spotted a cab and raised my arm, he immediately pulled some seriously crazy maneuvers to get across to me—horns blasting, people slamming on their breaks, the screeching of tires.
A freezing feeling filled my hands and traveling up my arms. I fought it, glaring at them, knowing that although it felt like I’d just stuck my hands inside a freezer and shut the door, that it was just my mind—my memories—creating the sensations crawling up from my fingertips and taking over my body.
My ears were ringing, it was so high pitched it was fucking painful. I tried to scratch at them, but my body wouldn’t respond to what I was telling it to do. I needed to keep breathing and try not to concentrate on the pain.
There was more.
My head, my stomach, could I even feel my legs? I actually wasn’t sure.
I needed to get out of here, please let me get out of here.
My jaw clenched so tightly, I wondered whether this time I might break a tooth. My fingers curled and uncurled, cutting through the pain and gently bringing me back to reality. My breathing was stilted, and I placed a hand on my chest as I fought to take in a deep breath.
“Where to man?” the driver of the taxi asked out the window with a grin.
Finally, I managed to inhale and fill my lungs. “Airport…” I told him, before adding, “… and don’t drive like a dickhead or we’re gonna have issues.”
“No problem, fair warning, though. I heard it’s gonna be a bit bumpy up there today,” he replied happily as he pulled away from the curb.
“Fucking awesome.”