Grabbing a towel, I slipped out of the bathroom as Eagle answered the phone call, his tone so easily making that swift move from jovial and teasing, to serious and closed off.
The flutters that I’d just felt in my stomach died away.
I could still feel the blood pumping in time with my heart between my legs as I sat down on the side of the bed and tried my best to squeeze some of the water out of my hair. It was quickly becoming a matted mess, and I knew putting my fingers through it before I went to sleep, since I didn’t have my brush, was going to be bloody painful.
I was trying to stay calm, trying to remind myself that I was a club girl in Eagle’s club, that he was just taking what was offered, that it wasn’t any more than what I would usually do for any of the brothers.
It was all bullshit, though.
I knew I wasn’t doing a very good job of convincing myself.
The door to the bathroom swung open, and Eagle stomped out, a towel tied strategically around his waist, and his phone still pressed to his ear. He didn’t seem angry, just stressed, and maybe worried. And I knew it had something to do with his brother.
I’d spotted his name on the call screen before Eagle answered, which was why I’d tried to make myself scarce, but I guess that wasn’t exactly possible in a hotel room.
Since he wasn’t speaking and I couldn’t hear anyone talking on the other end, I quickly spoke up. “Do you want me to go out and give you some space?” I asked, shifting so I could cover my body with the white comforter.
His head shot up, and he narrowed his eyes. “What?” he asked as though I’d spoken a completely different language. Then the confused brow shot up into surprise. “No. Don’t move.”
A gruff voice spoke into the phone on the other end, and the second Eagle heard it, it was like he lost the energy to stand. He slowly slipped down the wall until he was sitting on the carpet floor with his knees bent.
“Fuck…” he whispered then paused. “Yeah, thanks. Bye.”
He dropped his cell phone onto the floor and leaned his head back against the wall, letting his eyes drift closed. I wasn’t sure what to say. I wanted to be there for him if he needed me, but I also didn’t want to force myself in when it was obvious that Eagle didn’t share a lot about himself willingly. Now wasn’t exactly the time to make things tense between us again. I wasn’t a girlfriend who would be expected to go and comfort him. I was just a club girl who wasn’t privy to any information.
We sat like that in silence for over twenty minutes. Neither of us moving, even when Eagle’s phone rang and Optimus’ name lit up the screen. He ignored it, followed by a text that urged Eagle to call when he could.
We could both see it from where we were sitting, but still, we didn’t move.
I wondered whether this was it, that we wouldn’t speak for the rest of the night and then when we joined back up with the club tomorrow, we would act like nothing had happened. His brothers were all worried, they were calling to check in, but it seemed like it was frustrating Eagle more than anything, the way his eyes glared at his phone each time it vibrated to remind him that he had a message.
A few more minutes of deafening silence and Eagle took in a deep breath. “My brother is in a special ops team,” he explained, clearing his voice when it threatened to crack. “They had to be pulled out of a mission because of a small ambush. It shouldn’t have been anything major, but one of the offenders managed to get a couple rounds off before he was taken down. And his aim was pretty fucking good.”
My lips were dry, and I felt like my heart was in my throat, the steady thud making it hard to breathe as I listened to him talk.
“My brother Jake took one to the leg, and it nicked an artery,” he said in a whisper. “That was his commanding officer saying he’s lost a lot of blood, but that he was gonna be okay.”
I slipped off the end of the bed and onto the floor, dragging the comforter with me and holding my hand over my heart where I thought it might burst if that story hadn’t had a happy ending. “Wow,” I breathed out on a sigh. “I’m glad he’s okay.”
Eagle finally opened his eyes and looked at me and what I saw there was utter relief. “Same. Don’t know what I would have done…” he let his words hang. The pain evident in his tone as he thought about the idea of losing his younger brother, someone he obviously cared a lot about. He swallowed, his face tightening like there was a lump in his throat. “Come here.”
I chewed the inside of my cheek for a second before abandoning the warmth and comfort of the soft blanket surrounding me and crawled across the floor to where he was sitting. When I was finally at arm’s length, he dropped his legs to the ground and reached out, grabbing my hand and pulling me over his body, so my legs were straddling his. I was completely bare, and the air in the room had begun to cool as it was starting to get late and the sun was receding.
Letting him take the lead, not knowing exactly what he wanted or needed from me, I simply pressed my hands against his chest. His heart was racing, making no sign of slowing down and that on its own told me everything I needed to know about Eagle’s love for his family. I knew then that if things had turned out differently, we could be in an incredibly different scenario right now.
His hands fell to my hips, his rough, callused palms tickling my skin.
From here, I had the perfect view of his tattoo. It was intricate and held a stunning realism that I knew only practiced professionals would be able to achieve. The stars seemed like they were actually lit up in the night sky surrounding them, like beacons of light he could use to guide him home if he was ever lost.
The rich red and blues that I knew represented the stripes of our nation’s flag, they melted together like the water of an ocean, a place away from the city lights, where the stars could shine their brightest.
“I’ve been through some shit in my life,” he said softly, his eyes following his fingers as they drifted across my skin, up the center of my stomach and chest to my neck. “I didn’t come out of that shit unscathed like others did. I’ve got problems. For the most part, I’m okay, but then sometimes… my mind takes me back to a place where things weren’t okay, and the line between memory and reality can sometimes get skewed.”
I nodded. I knew what he was saying. Eagle had been in the army. I couldn’t imagine many people would come back from places like that with only pleasant memories about the things they had seen, and the things they had to do in the name of their country.
“Everybody has something that makes them vulnerable, a piece of their past that hits them like a sledgehammer when they aren’t expecting it,” I whispered. My hand trailed up and over his beard, a thrum going through my clit as I remembered what it felt like to have it brushing against the sensitive skin of my inner thighs. I forced myself to concentrate. “I’m not pretending to know what you’re going through, I don’t think I ever will. But don’t ever feel like you’re some kind of crazy person, because you aren’t alone.”
I knew what I was talking about. The number of punishments I’d been through in my youth because I spent a lot of time questioning our teachings was off the charts, and I still had the scars to prove it, just like Eagle did. Sometimes I would get whipped just for meeting with my grandmother who was known to be the Colony’s local loopy.