I heaved in a heavy breath, but it was strained.
The blood was rushing to my head. Was I upside down? I wiggled my body, but the seatbelt held me captive as I hung suspended in the air
Something was pressing on me, stopping my body from getting the air it needed.
“Knight, hang in there, they’re coming to get us, they’re only three minutes out,” Jamison told me, almost as if he was trying to convince himself as well. I shook my head, I needed more air, or I wasn’t going to be fine. I wiggled my body, trying to stretch my arms out but the weight that pushed down on me was heavy, and my body was suddenly very weak. “Stay fucking still!” he snapped.
No, I couldn’t breathe.
I just needed some space, I needed to make room for my lungs, I was too squashed, and they were constricted.
I knew I was panicking. I remembered being trained for this—when shit gets bad, keep your head. If you’re hurt, try to keep your heart rate down, try to stay rational and alert.
That had gone out the window. My mind was confused, it didn’t know what was going on, it just knew that it wanted to stay alive, and to do that, I needed air.
Growling loudly, I gave one final shove, and for a moment, I inhaled deeply.
In those seconds, I felt great, air filling my body, it tasted slightly smoky and dusty, but I didn’t care, I just needed to breathe. I didn’t know what had happened, where I was, what kind of state my body was in, and just how close Leo, and I had been to death.
It was short-lived, as the body of my teammate, the same body that had been laying on top of me, that I’d just shoved away like it was worthless, was suddenly lying beside me—his wide lifeless eyes staring straight through my fucking soul.
I snapped back into reality as Skylar slipped her arms around my waist and propped her chin on my shoulder. “Your heart is racing,” she said softly, as an observation. She was right, my heart was pounding, and I could feel the sweat that had built up across my forehead. Having someone this close to me, more often than not, triggered anxiety attacks.
It was that memory, being smothered, fighting through the daze as I tried to figure out why.
My mouth was dry as I tried to think up some kind of excuse, some reason for me to be freaking out like a teenage boy who’d just had his junk grabbed by a hooker. I could hear the sounds of bikes roaring to life around us, but my hand was frozen, unable to reach for the keys.
“Inhale,” Skylar whispered. “You need to breathe. Do it with me.”
I sat there silently as I listened to her draw in a deep breath and hold it in her lungs for a few seconds before releasing it.
My brothers were beginning to pull out of the clubhouse gates, and I was sitting there like a fucking idiot, unable to move, feeling like I might pass out soon if I didn’t do something now.
“Inhale,” she whispered in my ear, just as she drew her arms from around me. Instantly, I felt free again and sucked in a gasp of air. Skylar didn’t say anything, sitting in silence for what seemed like forever until her hands appeared again, this time settling on my hips. “I’ll try not to crowd you too much.”
Her voice was gentle, soothing and beautiful.
I should have told her not to be stupid, that I didn’t know what she was talking about. I knew it would have been pointless, though. There was no talking my way out of this one. She’d seen me on the verge of a breakdown, something only Leo and Optimus had ever witnessed.
It made me feel weak and fucking worthless.
I tried to steady my hands as I reached forward for the keys, but froze as Skylar’s fingers dug into my side. I turned my head slightly to catch her eye, and she smiled gently. “Sorry, it’s just the take-off that gives me a jolt, even though I’m expecting it, it always seems to get me.”
She looked away quickly as if she was embarrassed to admit that all the time she’d been with the club, she still was never prepared for the power that these bikes held. To be completely honest, her admission had my body settling somewhat like I didn’t want her to be scared.
I allowed myself to sink into those protective instincts that were engrained inside me, and I found myself saying, “I’ll try to take it slow.” I pulled up my bandana that would cover my face and made sure my helmet was secure before I once again reached for the keys.
“But not too slow,” I heard her say quietly with a smile in her voice before I started the motor.
I couldn’t help but smirk, glad that my face was covered so the rest of the world couldn’t see.
This fucking girl.