Chapter Thirteen
I scrubbed at my face as I walked down the stairs.
My head pounded, a night of ten too many unsuccessful tequila shots. No matter how much I drank, I still couldn’t erase Hadley from my mind. She had me twisted into so many knots, I couldn’t even begin to untangle myself.
Watching Kev run his hands all over her seemed dirty. It fucked with my head, made me angry. I’d never seen one of the girls like that before, and they were constantly rubbing up against the men. But after I’d touched her, after I’d had her to myself, seeing someone else with her seemed wrong. I hated it. Watching Harmony step in and take her away had calmed the storm that was raging in me and I’d cooled off. But if she hadn’t, and he’d gone much further, I wasn’t sure if I would have been able to control what would have happened.
I’d gone to find her last night, intent on talking with her. I needed to know more about her. I already knew what my mind and body were telling me. She was bordering on perfect—Old Lady material. And I was bordering on insane if I caught one more of my brothers touching something I so badly wanted to keep to myself.
But it wasn’t as simple as just claiming her and seeing where things led. I had Macy to think about, and Carly too.
And Kim.
I guess a part of me was glad when Slider stepped out of her room. I was walking in there considering whether I was ready to open my heart to someone new. Was I ready to let someone in, to not only my life, but Macy’s too?
The more I thought about it, Carly was right. Macy needed someone stable in her life, a mother figure, someone who could show her the things that made me feel awkward as fuck when it came to girls. But at the same time, I didn’t want her to forget Kim. I wanted her to know how beautiful and kind-hearted her mom was.
Kim had been the only girl I’d ever loved.
She had been my world since I was a teenager.
Trying to replace her seemed wrong.
But being with Hadley seemed so fucking right.
I was a goddamn mess.
Watching Slider with his pants open and her stripped off hurt me more than I’d ever expected it to. But I guess it was a reminder that I just wasn’t fucking ready, and maybe a club girl wasn’t what I needed.
Even that though stabbed a sharp pain through me, but for now, I just needed to try and put some distance between us. And hope that what I was feeling was just lust. Yet here I was, standing outside her room once again. Op had told me to make sure she got to church so I was following orders.
I knocked hard and waited, hearing a rustling behind the door. I swore in my mind, hoping I wasn’t about to find a repeat of last night. The lock clicked, which made my stomach turn since the locks were only meant to be used if they had someone inside, and a brother didn’t want to be disturbed. But when the door pushed open it was only her. Her face was flushed and her hair wet, she’d just climbed out of the shower.
“I just need to pull my hair back,” she said softly as she rushed back into the bathroom.
I stepped inside her room, looking around. I even considered checking under the bed, but even I knew that was fucking ridiculous.
“How come the door was locked?” I called out.
I was met with silence and thought maybe she hadn’t heard me.
“I wasn’t feeling well last night. I know, I’m supposed to have an open door and all that. But I figured the girls from X-Rated were here and stuff, so maybe no one would miss me.” She came out with her hair pulled to the side in a plait.
She looked good.
I fucking hated it.
“We’re you crying last night?”
“I told you I wasn’t,” she replied, attempting to slip past me out the door.
I grabbed her arm. “And I still don’t believe you.”
She stilled, looking down at where I held her. “Can we just go and do this. I’m not especially looking forward to rehashing shit about my husband.”
I didn’t let her go. I didn’t want to.
Her skin was warm, and from the way she hung her head, I could tell that there was something going on. I wanted to hold her there, force her to explain. But then I remembered. No. I needed distance before I got too involved. I released her, and she was instantly gone, leaving me standing inside her bedroom. Confused and frustrated.