He turned his head so he was looking over his shoulder at me. “I don’t know yet. But one day I’ll find out.” And then he was gone.
While Eagle’s words hadn’t completely soothed the pain, I did feel lighter.
Leo had made it clear over the past few weeks that he wasn’t letting me go. I didn’t want him to. I wanted to hold him, and Macy close forever. I would stand by his side, and I would watch Macy grow, loving her with every inch of my heart like she was my own.
I thought about Keith’s words from our visit.Just wanted to tell him man to man that I would do whatever was within my power to look after the two of you.
I jumped off the bed, dashing through the door and down the stairs, almost plowing into Leo at the bottom.
“Woah,” he said, his hand going to my waist to steady me and his eyes flashing with worry. “Are you okay?”
“I need you to take me somewhere.”
He frowned. “Where?”
I shuffled my feet nervously before looking up into his eyes. I wasn’t sure whether he’d be okay with it or not, but I knew in my heart that it was something I needed to do.
“Which one is it?” I asked him softly as we stood at the curb next to Leo’s new truck. Gravestones lined the cemetery, I wasn’t unfamiliar with the setting having visited my father every single week back home until I’d moved away, but I was nervous.
He was quiet, watching me with curious eyes as though he couldn’t understand why I would want to come here.
“Leo, please,” I said, reaching out to brush my hand across his arm.
His eyes stayed glued to me as he pointed. “Six rows down with the red roses,” he finally answered.
I nodded, tiptoeing up to kiss his lips softly before I stepped back. I could feel his eyes burning into my back as I counted the rows.
One.
Two.
Three.
I swallowed, forcing one foot in front of the other.
Four.
Five.
Six.
I looked down to my right, seeing a beautiful bouquet of scarlet red roses sitting beside a beautiful yet subtle headstone. I moved over so I was directly in front of it before I lowered to my knees and sat back on my feet.
Her name was scrawled across the stone in a beautiful font.
Kimberly Louise Jamison.
Daughter, sister, mother, wife.
My mouth was dry, and suddenly I felt like I couldn’t find the words that I wanted to say.
I licked my lips. “Thank you,” I whispered, not knowing where else to start. I smiled and shook my head. “I had this planned out in my head a lot better. It seemed so easy. Come here, tell you how I feel and hope that you can hear me.”
I looked over my shoulder. Leo was standing with his arms crossed, he looked tense and worried.
“He’s amazing,” I said, turning my head back to the stone that was meant to represent this woman’s life, but that would never do it justice. A woman I had never met but that I felt I knew personally. “But I guess you already knew that.” I sighed. “I’m not grateful that you’re gone. You never got to see your beautiful baby girl’s first steps or hear her first words, and you won’t be here for the first time she goes to school or the first time a guy breaks her heart.”
Tears warmed my eyes, choking me. But I fought past them, needing to get this out before I broke down.