Every night it was the same. The handcuffs were gone from my wrists. The whole thing played over in my head, Slider running with me through the open door, me falling to the ground and then turning around to see him bleeding. I rushed over to him as he lay on the ground, but suddenly, it wasn’t him any longer.
It was my dad.
He lay on the ground pleading with me to save him, but no matter what I did, the blood seemed to run faster from his body the harder I pressed on his wounds. The whole time I would reassure him he was going to be okay, trying to stem the flow as I screamed for Leo to help me. I knew in the back of my mind that the brothers were there, but no one ever came forward to help. I cried and sobbed as I watched the life slowly slip from him eyes. All over again.
I was having the dream multiple times a night.
I knew exactly what was going on but every single time I would be devastated, and distraught. Leo was great. He held me, cradling me against his chest as he whispered in my ear that everything was okay. But it wasn’t. Slider was gone, and my mind just would not let him go.
“And exactly what kinda help are you going to be cripple?” Leo teased.
“I could help with the funeral plans,” I told him quietly.
“Chelsea has it under control, Hadley.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Yeah, I just feel like I should be doing something.”
“Swing!” Macy beamed, clapping her hands.
Leo looked at me, raising his eyebrow. “You feel up to going out to the playground for a little bit?”
“God, yes.” I sighed, throwing the blankets off and shuffling to the side of the bed. My arm still ached, but I knew it was getting better. My wrists too. They were itchy and healing over. My body was healing, but my mind and heart were still raw.
Leo held my hand as we walked down the stairs, Macy rushing ahead of us, singing loudly. A few of Leo’s brothers offered me supportive smiles as we passed through the main room.
“Hey, beautiful.” Rose grinned as we stepped out onto the porch. She was sitting on a deck chair with sunglasses pulled on and a book in her hands. I squinted my sunlight deprived eyes, shading them with my hand until they adjusted.
“Hey,” I replied, returning her smile. “I’m so excited to have some fresh air.”
Rose laughed. “I was wondering when the cabin fever would begin.”
“I could feel it coming.”
“Hadwee! Watch me,” Macy called as she ran across the grass toward the playground. She stopped and jumped up and down on the spot waving her arms around before taking off running again toward the swings.
I noticed Harlyn and Jayla were already scaling the jungle gym and waved enthusiastically to Macy as she ran toward them. Ham sat off to the side and lifted his chin at me with a gentle smile, as I stepped onto the grass and sat at the edge of the decking to watch the girls play together. Their laughter soothed me, filling my body with joy.
Things were over with Simon, and it felt good to take the time to just bask in the simple things like Macy’s smile without wondering whether my presence in her life was putting her in danger.
I heard footsteps behind me and looked around to see Optimus and Chelsea walking out hand-in-hand.
“Hi Daddy,” Harlyn called as she pushed a giggling Macy on the swings. Optimus smiled, waving at his daughter.
Leo moved over toward Optimus as Chelsea broke away from him and crouched down next to Rose, discussing the book she was reading.
“How’d it go?” Leo asked Op.
Op sighed. “Wrench found her.”
Leo scratched at his beard. “Fuck. You get in touch with her?”
“Yeah.” Op nodded. “She was devastated.”
Intrigued by the conversation, I pushed to my feet and moved closer to them. I pulled on Leo’s hand, drawing his attention to me. “What’s going on?”
Leo looked to Optimus, who just shrugged.
Leo inhaled sharply through his nose. “Slider always talked about not having any family. But turns out he did have someone. A sister who he hadn’t seen since they were kids.”