This time his body gave in and he rushed toward me, gripping my face in his hands before I had a chance to look away. “Don’t do this. You can stay, the club will keep you safe.”
I placed my hand over his as it cupped my cheek, leaning into it and enjoying the rough feeling against my face. “Op, I’m in love with you,” I told him softly before closing my eyes. “I have been for a long time. I can’t be a club girl anymore with the feelings that I have, and if you won’t claim me, then my time here is done. It’s time to move on.”
I felt his overgrown stubble brush against my face and a soft pair of lips find mine briefly. “One day, you’re going to have to stop running and realize it doesn’t solve all your problems.”
“And one day you’re going to have to realize that pushing the ones you love away isn’t protecting them, it’s isolating them.” I gave him a soft peck on the cheek then stepped back. “If it’s okay, I’ll come back and get the rest of my things soon.”
He nodded, but his mind seemed far away as he stared over my head. I wondered if it was what I’d said, or if he’d chosen that particular time to cut off his emotions completely.
I tried to swallow, but my throat was completely dry. My stomach turned.
This was it.
I was walking away and he wasn’t going to stop me.
I cleared my throat finally, throwing my bag over my shoulder and taking a couple of steps closer to the door. Optimus didn’t move. I desperately wanted him to call out, to tell me he couldn’t let me go.
“Chelsea.”
I squeezed the door handle in my hand, my breath seizing in my throat. “Yeah?”
“Watch your back out there.” I thought I heard a sliver of emotion in his voice, but I couldn’t see his face to confirm it, so I put it down to just my mind hearing what it wanted to hear.
“Yeah.”
I pulled the door closed behind me, leaving Optimus standing silently inside my room. I managed to hold off the tears until I reached the space where my car usually was. But in its place was only charred remains.
The tears poured then.
There was no holding back.
“Op said you might need a ride.” Ham’s voice did nothing to sooth me as he dangled keys from his fingers and guided me over to Optimus’ truck. “Rose’s?”
I nodded, not even able to get a word out. I wept and sobbed the whole way to Rose’s apartment, hoping like hell that she’d be home. I had nowhere else to go. I could go and stay with Harmony, but I knew it would cause tension.
I needed to take a step back from the club. It was my plan to do so eventually—if Optimus hadn’t pulled his head out of his ass by the time I finished college—so I may as well start the disconnection now.
Ham didn’t try to talk to me, he just drove in silence as I leaned my head against the cold glass window and let my heart shatter into pieces.
“Be safe, Chel,” he said faintly as I jumped from the truck, not even turning around to acknowledge him or say thanks.
The rain had started coming down in buckets. I ran up the staircase that lead up the side of the building to Rose’s small apartment and pounded on the door. Water dripped from my hair and down my face, only disguising my tears but not hiding my puffy, bloodshot eyes and sniffles. Rose pulled the door open, she stood looking at me confused for a second before she took in my appearance.
“Oh, Chelsea,” she said sadly, opening her arms and allowing me to fall into them, the sobs starting up once again.
“I left,” I sniffed.
She ran her hands up and down my back, not caring that I was completely soaking her clothing.
“Come on in.”