28
Groveling
Oliver
When I had to leave California, but still had trouble finding work in New York because Hayden had contacted every possible place I might apply, I remember feeling not just angry and frustrated, but also afraid. What would I do if I couldn’t work? At each job interview, I felt like my future was on the line.
As it turns out, that time in my life pales in comparison to what I’m feeling right now as I stand in front of Charlotte. My futureison the line. My happiness, my love, it’s all on the line. If she doesn’t forgive me, I really don’t know what I’ll do. I suppose my only option will be to live a life without love and the thought of that crushes my heart.
I hope the cane gesture will remind her of magic and family, and while it might not make her forgive me, it might be enough to let me explain and apologize to her.
I soak her up, my gaze going from her lovely face down until I notice she has a suitcase.Oh God, she's leaving.My gaze drifts back up to her face.
“Oliver?”
I smile, but I’m sure it doesn’t hide the terror that I’m feeling. “Charlotte. You’re leaving?”
“Yes…I mean I was.”
I wonder what that means. “Should I let you go?” I’m not sure what I should do. And then I think maybe I should offer her a ride. Except now I remember, I gave her the car. Fuck, why can’t I get my brain to work?
“No, actually I have a flight.”
Once again, I’m not sure what that means. Is she leaving or not?
She shakes her head. “I mean, I had a flight…out to California.”
I watch her, still trying to figure out what is going on.
“I was going to see you.”
Hope wells inside me and I want to reach out and grab her, but instead, I shove my hands into my pockets because I don’t know if that means that she is going to forgive me. “I came to you.”
She nods.
We stand there staring for a moment, and then she steps back, opening the door for me. I take that as a good sign and step inside the condo. I make my way to the living room and can see that despite the way I’ve hurt her, she put out some Christmas decorations. Of course she would. Hayden and Charlotte are night and day. Whereas Hayden sought to take revenge on me after I left her, Charlotte is picking up the pieces of her life and going on. That’s how I know she’s stronger than Hayden. Hell, she’s stronger than me.
The room is still dark with only the moon casting light on her little Christmas village. I turn to look at her, loving how the moonglow makes her look ethereal. Like an angel.
“I have so many things to say to you, but I can’t figure out where to start,” I say.
“Why did you leave?”
It’s crazy how I find some amusement in how direct and to the point she is. And I’m glad for it, because it gives me the place to start.
“I decided I was bad for you. When I received that picture that Hayden took of you and me, I went crazy. You are my life and the only thing I could think about was getting away from you so that she wouldn’t touch you. And that my past wouldn’t touch you either.”
Her eyes narrow as she studies me. “You could’ve called, texted.”
I look down because it’s hard to look in her eyes when I know that she’s right and I’m wrong. Finally, I look up at her. “Can I say one thing before we continue with this conversation?”
Her brow arches in that way that I find adorable, even though I think it’s supposed to worry me. “Sure.”
“I love you, Charlotte.” Never in my life have I meant those words more than I mean them in this moment.
She gapes at me. And then, her eyes narrow again, making me worry. “Now you tell me that?”
“I should’ve told you sooner,” I admit. “But I need you to know it now as we move forward. I may have made a bad decision-”