18
The Past is Closing In
Oliver
It was amazing how nervous I’d been to renegotiate my arrangement with Charlotte. It was disconcerting actually. I wasn’t usually a man who was afraid to go after what he wanted, but there was something about what was between Charlotte and me that felt different. Thankfully, she said yes and over the course of the next week, life was pretty fucking good.
On Monday morning, I showed up at the clinic to start my new job, and every night I was back at the condo, having dinner, a lively discussion, and then going to bed with Charlotte. Mid-week, my boss invited us to dinner again since Charlotte had missed the last time. This time, she and I didn’t fight, and the dinner went off without a hitch. Of course, I didn’t have to act like I was into her because the truth is that I am into her.
That whole week, we got along so well. In fact, I forgot about the disaster that is threatening to blow my life apart, until today. I’ve received another text from Hayden. The first part is a written message:
“Don’t you miss this, Oliver?”
The next isn’t a screenshot of a video, but instead a short clip of the video where I’m fucking her from behind and giving her a loud slap on the ass.
I groan, pinching the bridge of my nose as all my fears grow again. It’s Saturday afternoon, and Charlotte is sitting in the window seat reading a psychiatric journal, while I’m watching college football. I realize how normal and content life is, being with Charlotte, even when we are involved in two different activities. But now I’ve had the reminder that nice and content are not in my future. This is why I had to insist on no-strings-attached with Charlotte because I couldn’t let Hayden’s threats taint her.
I stand up, slipping my phone into the back pocket of my jeans. “I think I’m going to go for a walk,” I say. I need to get out of the condo to deal with this issue.
Charlotte looks over at me from her journal. “Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, everything’s great. I just thought I’d get out to enjoy the cold December air. You know it’s not like this in California. I figure I’ll go acclimate and enjoy it.” I muster up a smile and hope she buys it.
I think she’s going to offer to go with me, and as much as I’d like that, I can’t have her along as I sort out my fucked-up life. So before she can say anything, I move to the front closet, pulling out my coat and putting it on. “I’ll be back in an hour or so,” I say.
“Have fun.”
As I head to the elevator, I consider texting Theo to see if he wants to come with me. But then I remember he’s newly engaged, and this is my burden to take on. When I get out of the building I walk out to the river, and take a moment to gather my thoughts. Charlotte asked me if it was inevitable that the thing I was running from would catch up to me, and deep down I know that it is. But that doesn’t mean I won’t fight to the very end to stop it. I don’t want to be a laughing stock. But more than that, I don’t want to be the one who embarrasses Theo or Charlotte.
I call my lawyer to let him know of the latest message from Hayden, and while it’s not something I want to share with him, I make arrangements to securely forward it to him, so it’s part of the growing list of threats that she’s made against me. I wish there was something I could do legally now, except by doing so I would end up exposing myself, no pun intended.
For a long time, I’d thought that she would end her infatuation with me, and move on to someone else. But now, months later, I can see that that’s not the case. In fact, I have to consider that my distancing myself from her may actually be exacerbating it. The answer might be that I have to return to California and deal with this head-on. I don’t like that idea at all. This week in particular, I’ve felt like New York is now my home.
The discussion with my attorney goes about the same as they all do. He collects the evidence and will reach out to my former boss to remind him what’s at stake, and then we wait and see. It’s the wait-and-see that’s fucking killing me. I’m about to turn back to head home, when another text comes through.
“You can’t hide from me, Oliver.”
It’s followed by a picture of the Statue of Liberty.
I stop in my tracks. Jesus! She’s in New York.
I call my attorney back, who says that I can arrange with local courts to get an order to make her stay away from me, but I know that will probably make things worse. He reminds me again that she potentially risks jail time for revenge porn in California if the video gets sent out. But I don’t think she cares about that. She knows that I’m the one who cares, and she’s willing to burn the whole house down if she thinks it will get what she wants.
I haven’t responded to any of her texts and I don’t intend to start now, but I definitely need to take greater steps to protect myself and my family. When I arrive back at the building, I text Theo because I need to let him know. As I approach the elevator, he texts back saying to come up and see him in the penthouse. Apparently, Madeline and her sister are out for the day looking at wedding dresses or something. Because my hour is about up, I text Charlotte too, to let her know I’m going up to see Theo. She responds back with a thumbs-up emoji that makes me smile. Normally, I think emojis are silly but Charlotte likes direct and succinct, and sometimes an emoji does that.
When I arrive at his penthouse, he already has a beer open and waiting for me.
“How did you get yourself mixed up with such a fucked-up woman?” he asks, as I follow him to the living area. I drop on the couch, feeling the weight of the world around me.
“She didn’t seem like this when I started seeing her.”
“What does your ex-boss say? Surely he’s got a dog in this fight too. I mean if it gets out that his daughter is on a sex tape, doesn’t that hurt him as well?” Theo sits on the couch across from me.
“I don’t think she cares.” I hold my free arm out straight as if I’m making a directional point. “She is singularly focused on getting what she wants. It doesn’t matter that I don’t love her, that I don’t want her, that she will hurt me, her father, even herself.”
“Have you talked to Charlotte about this? This woman sounds like she has some kind of psychiatric disorder.”
I shake my head even though I know he’s right about Hayden having issues. I thought so even before I moved out here, and in talking with experts I knew in California, I feel pretty certain she fits the guidelines for a personality disorder. My few expert friends also indicated that there is no treatment unless she recognizes a problem and wants to fix it.