That’s what he was afraid of. “Please, just sit down,” he said. She was going to fall. This hurt him more than he thought it would. He’d expected rage, stormy lectures like she’d started this out with. Her tears made a wreck out of him.
Eva clutched her earring to the side of them, for once out of words.
“This isn’t your fault, Emily,” he said. “It’s mine. You just got caught up in it, that’s all. I didn’t know I was bringing you into danger. Some kind of man I am, I couldn’t protect you, but I will now, whether you’ll let me or not.”
“You’re not selling your soul for me,” she said. “Not for me.”
But that was exactly what he was going to do. Emily had called it. She couldn’t stop him from keeping her safe. Her eyes snapped up to his. “Now that I say I don’t care about that stupid video, you’re not still going through with this, are you?”
He couldn’t answer her. She might be willing to walk off the cliff, but he’d never be the one to push her off, even if she asked it of him.
“You’re still doing this,” she said. Her shock glimmered through her eyes. “They only gave this video to you last night… this has been going on all week. You were going to go through with it without the video.”
“I…” Nash couldn’t be sure what he would’ve done. He’d had his second thoughts; he’d talked to Porter; he’d been getting ready to get tough with himself, but the lure of the money had caught him for disturbingly too long in the beginning.
Her face was stunned. A stab of pain ran him through as he realized that he’d never be the kind of man that she needed. The realization felt like a slap. He tried to push away the hurt. He didn’t want to feel this.
“You didn’t come to me,” she said softly. “You didn’t confide in me at all before this, so that’s why… I can’t tell if you’re admitting this all to me now because you have to or if you were ever planning on telling me this at all. I don’t know.”
“Does it matter anymore?” What they had was ruined. He’d thought of telling her the truth after he’d fixed it all; he just didn’t know how to fix it. He was astonished to realize that she was right—he mightneverhave told her. What kind of man did that make him? He let out another painful breath. Dang, it hurt to breathe now, too; everything about this hurt.
How did he ever expect to deserve someone like Emily?
She recoiled. “Yes, it matters if you were planning on telling me! You asked me to marry you!”
Eva gasped. They both ignored her.
“That was supposed to make us a team,” Emily said. “I’m not an asset, but your partner. Did you not even understand what kind of commitment you were making?”
“Of course, I did.” And it tortured him to know how he couldn’t follow through. “I wanted to take care of you, protect you from this. And I failed, again and again.”
“You could’ve talked to me,” she said.
“Because you understand how business works?” He hated himself for this, but he found himself trying to justify himself, and that only resulted in him attacking her.
She was quick to call him on it. “Was that the real reason? Or did you just not think that I’d approve of what you were doing here?”
He took a deep breath. “Well, you are Little Miss Harvest Ranch, little Miss Goody Two-Shoes herself, so no, I didn’t think you’d approve.”
Yeah, he’d cracked a joke. A completely inappropriate joke, but that’s what he did whenhewas shutting down. He knew he’d made the wrong decision when she winced. He’d hit a sore spot.
“Don’t put this all on me,” she said quietly.
Far from it. He knew who was to blame. He gentled his voice. “It’s me, not you… and I don’t know if you’ve heard, but when guys tell you that, you’d better believe them.”
“I usually do,” she whispered.
Did she now? It didn’t sound like it. He noticed that her eyes pricked with more tears. “There’s nothing wrong with who you are,” he said. “I love Little Miss Harvest Ranch. I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if I didn’t want to spend my life with you, I just don’t know how any of this works, but that’s on me. You’re actually the coolest girl, I know, and…” He groaned at how they’d started this whole relationship in the first place. “I mean, what were we doing, huh? Tell me what’s so wrong with who you are? Why did we ever think that we needed to change your image to get people to like you? I was the one who wasn’t good enough for you. Little Miss Harvest Ranch is caring, strong, with a heart so pure that anyone would be lucky to win it, so will you promise me one thing, darling? Don’t ever try to change yourself for anybody ever again.”
The tears that were only a hint against her glimmering eyes finally erupted down her cheeks. He hadn’t meant to make her cry again. She made a sound of dismay and flung into his arms, hugging him so tightly that she took his breath away.
Wait, hadn’t he just explained that he wasn’t good enough for her?
To prove that she thought of him as more than just platonic friends, her lips found his next, catching him in the most heartfelt kiss that he’d ever felt. That said a lot because Emily put her heart into everything. She drew up, meeting his gaze with those hazel eyes that would always haunt his memories. “Mr. Bad Boy isn’t as bad as he likes to think he is, either,” she said, squeezing him. “You are the sweetest, most sacrificing man I know—you’d do anything for anybody, and you make everything fun while you do it. You’re thoughtful and wise, and–and I don’t want to see you changing either! West is trying to turn you into something that you’re not.”
Touché!
“You realize that if you go through with this deal that these people will own you,” she said. He knew… he knew it only too well. “They’ll always use whatever blackmail they can against you to get you to work with them. You can bet that’s what they’re doing with West, too. I’m sure he’s a slave to Trout now.”