Chapter Nineteen
Poppy didn’t know how Rose really felt after their encounter earlier. But Rose looked happy, and eager to sit across from her and drink hot chocolate in the quiet kitchen.
“How was the double date?”
“Awkward.” Rose frowned and stared at the tabletop. “But also really great because I was with Gray.”
“I put the flowers he gave you upstairs in your room.”
“Thank you. But that’s not what you waited up to talk to me about, is it?”
Poppy wrapped her hands around the warm mug and stared at the floating marshmallows. “Are you mad about what I told you?”
Rose reached across the table and put her hand over Poppy’s. “No. Not even a little bit. It’s okay to feel the way you feel. It’s okay to not miss him. He made his choices that night. He suffered the consequences. Whether you could have stopped his fall down the stairs or not . . . You are here, safe and sound, and finally free to live your life. Stop punishing yourself, Poppy, for not doing something that could have hurt or killed you, too.Stop beating yourself up for feeling free of him. Accept that part of your life is over. He can’t hurt you anymore. Unless you let him, by not moving on and living the life you want to live. Go back to school. Find a job you actually like doing. Be with someone who treats you like you matter and like loving you is important.”
“Is that what you’ve found with Gray?”
“Yes.” Rose didn’t hesitate. “I mean, I hope so. We haven’t known each other that long, but I can tell you this: it took me a long time and a few mistakes to know in my heart that I’m worth loving. I deserve to be loved and treated with respect and kindness. I didn’t know a man like Gray existed. I didn’t know someone could feel that way about me. The way he expresses how he feels so easily... It both surprises me and feels so right all at the same time.”
“But you slept with his cousin. Is he upset about that?”
“Naturally it bothers him. But he realizes that it happened long before we met. It was one night with a guy I barely knew. It’s not like we dated. Gray and Maggie both know I want a relationship with Gray. I want something that will last. And right now, it feels like it will. I’m hoping we can spend a lot more time together away from Marc and Maggie, so that we can solidify the bond we already share, so that when we are together with them, there’s no doubt who I care about and want to be with.”
Poppy tilted her head. “Is Gray unsure of your feelings for him? Or Marc?”
“After tonight, I hope not.” Rose’s cheeks turned pink.
Poppy put her elbow on the table, her chin in her palm, and smiled at her sister. “What happened tonight? I bet I can guess,” she teased, feeling lighter, and thinking this was how things should have been between them the last many years that Rose had been away. This is how she wanted things to be going forward, them sharing their lives and confiding the good and the bad to each other.
“Please don’t.” Rose sipped her cocoa. “As for Gray... It may seem like things are moving fast between us, but then again, it feels like I’ve known him forever. It feels like I’ve been looking for him all this time and now that I have him I don’t want to ever lose him.”
“You’re in love with him.”
Rose tried to hide her smile behind the mug as she took another sip. “Maybe I am.”
“I’m happy for you.” Poppy meant it. In fact, she wanted to take all of Rose’s advice and start living her life. She didn’t want to just escape her father’s memory and the nightmare he’d left her in but actually be happy like her sister.
It wouldn’t be easy. She had so much trauma to work on, but if Rose could get through it, mistakes and all, and come out the other side able to love herself and someone else, then Poppy at least had to try.
Rose took Poppy’s hand across the table. “It is so good to see some of the old Poppy back. I love the new hairstyle. It suits you. You were always edgier than me.”
Poppy raked her fingers through the shorter locks. “There’s been this thing inside me that wanted to break free, but I didn’tknow what it was or how it would manifest. Cutting my hair, changing the color, it felt like . . . changing into someone I could grow into.”
Rose squeezed her hand and smiled. “What do you want to do first?”
“I’m going to go back to school.”
“What do you want to study?”
“Business. Maybe marketing.”
“You should talk to Maggie about marketing. That’s what she does. She loves it. I’m sure she can give you some insight into the day-to-day of her job.”
Nervous butterflies fluttered in her belly. “Do you think she’d mind?”
“She’d love to help you. She thinks of you as a little sister, too.”
“Really?” Poppy had lost touch with most of her close friends.