“If it helps, find joy in the rebellion. Give him a big ‘F you’ every time you do something you know he wouldn’t like but makes you feel good.”
“Is that what you did?”
“Yes. With enthusiasm. In college, I stayed up late. I went out past eight o’clock at night. I dated boys he’d have hated. I wore things that made me feel pretty but he’d have scolded me for looking like a whore. I took psychology classes.” A smile tugged at her lips.
Her mom shook her head but grinned. “He’d have thought that a waste of time.”
It wasn’t. She learned it wasn’t her. Itwashim.
She couldn’t fix him by being or doing something else.
Only he could fix himself.
Once she believed that, she was free.
“Don’t apologize for moving forward even if Poppy isn’t ready to do the same. For what it’s worth, I can see it in your eyes that the idea appeals to you, that maybe you’ve been looking for an excuse—”
“You mean a push.”
“If that’s what it takes.” Rose held her mom’s gaze, knowing she’d just unfairly blamed her mom for everything even though she was a victim herself, but also wanting something better for her mom. “I want you to be happy. I don’t want you sitting in this house alone with nothing but your guilt and sorrow like it’ssome penance you have to pay. You have no idea how happy I’d be to see you out doing something that you like and being who you want to be.”
“I don’t have any skills.”
“That’s not true at all. You’re a fantastic cook. You sew. You love to garden and know the names of just about every plant. You’d make a great bookkeeper or receptionist. You don’t have to start a specific career. Try things out. Start simple. Just start,” she gently suggested. “You don’t have to know what you like, but find something you love. If the first thing doesn’t fit, try something else. There’s no one who is going to say anything about it. It’s just you.” She thought her mom needed that reminder. “Try one new thing this week while I’m here.”
“Like what?”
“Anything. It’s up to you. Your choice.”
Her mom looked intrigued.
“Don’t overthink it. Just do it.” Rose heard the chime of an incoming text and pulled her phone out of her pocket.
MAGGIE:Are you here? Please say yes!!!
Rose smiled and typed back.
ROSE:YES!!!
MAGGIE:Meet me at Lucky Lou’s
MAGGIE:NOW
MAGGIE:It’s a bride emergency
Rose glanced over at her mom. “It’s Maggie. She wants meto meet up with her. A bride emergency, or something.”
“Go. Have fun. It’s why you came.”
“I came to see you, too, Mom. I know things haven’t been good between us in a long time. I stayed away on purpose because I couldn’t let the past in again.”
“I know. I understand. That’s why I didn’t want you to come back. It makes me happy to know you’re out there, living your life, being happy.”
Rose smiled. “Then you know how happy it would make me if you were doing the same thing.”
“Point taken. One new thing.” She smiled, this time a little easier than the last, it seemed.
“Promise.”