Chapter Two
Rose hadn’t seen her mother since before her father died. She tried and failed not to be disappointed now. She’d told her mom she was coming for this visit, despite the older woman telling her it would do more harm than good for Rose to dredge up hurtful memories. “Aren’t you even a little happy to see me?”
Her mom’s eyes softened and her lips drew back in a rare easy smile. For a second Rose glimpsed the woman she remembered from when she was very young. “Of course I’m happy to see you. I’ve missed you so much. But you have a new life now.”
Rose stepped into the house, set her suitcase aside, and stood a foot away from her mom. “I’ve missed you, too,” she confessed, allowing herself to really feel it now that she was here.
Her mom’s eyes turned misty right before she pulled Rose in for a hug that was nearly bone crushing.
It took Rose a second to embrace her mother and another moment for past hurts and resentments to fall away and for her to really feel the warmth and love her mom poured into her. She couldn’t remember the last time her mom had hugged her likeshe really meant it. Though the initial greeting had been frosty, this was anything but.
Rose broke away first, stepping back to steady her nerves and get a good look at her mom. Nancy Howell had aged, of course, the years under Rose’s father’s domination carving deep wrinkles into her forehead and stealing the light from her eyes. She’d always seemed weary to Rose. That hadn’t changed, but there was something softer about her. Less tense, more at ease, but not quite ready to fully let her guard down.
There were other small changes. She didn’t have her hair pulled back into an austere chignon. It hung straight and framed her face, brushing the tops of her shoulders. Her usual makeup was missing today. While she’d been married to Rose’s father she’d always worn simple sheath dresses, all in the dark colors he wanted to see her in, all of which made her mother’s too pale skin look sallow against her brown hair and eyes. Today she wore a loose pair of straight-leg, light blue linen pants with a cream-colored top that complemented her warm skin tone and brought out her rosy cheeks.
She hadn’t gained a lot of weight, but enough that her face wasn’t all sharp angles. There was a softness to her appearance now.
Rose imagined her mother could finally eat without anxiety making everything turn sour in her gut and could sleep in peace, the worries evaporating into the past and disappearing like her father had from their lives. His presence in the house had sometimes made just breathing hard because you were always wondering what he’d say or do next.
Yes, they walked on eggshells, but it was more than that. It was like living with a faulty ticking time bomb. In the calm, you thought everything was all right. Just when you thought you could exhale and relax, all hell broke loose.
Everyone was happy to see him off to work. No one was happy to see him come home each day. But they all waited in anticipation, dread filling them up and putting everyone on edge.
But it hadn’t always been that way.
She remembered a kinder, gentler man from her early childhood years. Why else would her mom have married him? If Rose tried really hard, she could even remember seeing love in his eyes and happiness in her mother’s face.
Now she couldn’t stand to see the contrast in the old photos on the walls. The early years when all of them were smiling and happy, arms around each other, gave way to kids with forced grins, blank stares, everyone standing close but apart. She doubted any of them wanted to be in those later photos, let alone near each other.
In contrast, Rose’s friend Maggie had a great family and father. He doted on her.
He was so excited about walking his daughter down the aisle.
“Rose.” Her mother looked at her, concerned. “I told you, you shouldn’t have come back. This place is not for you. Not anymore.”
Rose crossed her arms and brushed her hands up and down her biceps. “He’s not here, but I still feel him everywhere sometimes.” She changed the subject. “You look good, Mom. I love the outfit.”
Her mom nervously smoothed her hands down her thighs. “Thank you. I . . .” She didn’t finish whatever she wanted to say.
“He can’t tell you what to wear, what a proper wife should look like anymore. What the hell did he know?” She eyed her mom up and down. “You know exactly what you like and what makes you feel pretty. And it shows.”
A soft smile bloomed very slowly. “Thank you, Rose.” Her mother had received so few compliments in her life, especially in the last twenty years.
It made Rose’s heart ache that her mom felt so deeply about a few kind words.
“I... I really can’t believe you’re here.”
“Don’t get used to it.” Her sister, Poppy, stood behind her mother, glaring at Rose. “We both know she’s not staying and won’t be back.”
Her mother’s appearance had improved the last few years, but Poppy’s had changed dramatically for the worse. Bone-thin, dark circles marring the underside of her eyes. Her all-black outfit of leggings and a T-shirt made her skin look ashen.
Rose couldn’t help the gasp. “Poppy. Are you okay?”
The glare turned even darker. “Don’t pretend to care.” She looked Rose up and down in one quick sweep, pressed her lips tight, and narrowed her eyes, showing her contempt, and walked up the stairs, giving Rose her back with the dismissal.
Rose could only stare at her sister with a sense of loss, grief, guilt, and deep concern, knowing she deserved her sister’s cutting rebuke, but wanting so badly to help her in whatever way possible.
She jumped when her mom touched her shoulder.