Rose wondered what she’d said to upset her mom, then remembered how often she and Poppy got in trouble for stealing cookies, though they were rarely in the house. Then it dawned on Rose. “I always blamed Poppy and she blamed me for the missing cookies. Dad yelled at me. He spanked me. But it was you.” It all made sense now, but Rose didn’t want to believe it.
Her mother spoke to her lap. “I’m sorry, Rose.”
“You’re sorry. You let me take the blame for that and you never stepped in to help me. How could you do that?”
“I tried to stop him all the time in the beginning, but the more I tried, the worse things got. He’d be yelling at me, you, Poppy sometimes, and I just couldn’t take it.”
“But it was okay for me to take it.”
Her mom’s head shot up. “No. No, sweetheart. When I tried to step in, he’d be that much harder on you. You remember how he’d berate you for needing your mother, that you couldn’t stand on your own. But you could. You did. Maybe I couldn’t stop him from going after you, but I took such satisfaction inwatching you hold your own against him. You were strong when I couldn’t be.”
The double-edged sword of growing up the way she did. Her childhood sucked. But it had made her who she was today. Tough. Resilient.
She’d needed every bit of that strength her mother took such pride in to survive and overcome her past.
“Please don’t be upset,” her mother said.
“I’m angry.” Rose wanted to rage at her mom for making things harder on her.
“If it wasn’t the cookies, he’d have found something else to complain about. You know that.”
Rose knew all too well how her dad could take something small and turn it into the biggest, most important thing in the world. He never let anything go. He never just dropped it.
“I know that you should have—” Rose stopped right there, because she wanted to rebuild her relationship with her mom and not keep tearing it down.
Her mom stared at her. “I wanted to do a lot of things, Rose. I wanted you girls to be happy and safe. That’s why I was so pleased to see you leave for college. I knew away from here, you’d thrive. And you did. And I am so proud of you.”
Those words, the heartfelt sentiment, softened Rose’s heart. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
“I missed you every day,” her mom admitted. “I know my actions didn’t always show it, but never doubt how much I love you.”
“I always knewyoudid. I love you, too. I’ve missed you and Poppy. I want us to be a family again.”
“I want that, too.”
“Then we need to stop lettinghimcome between us.” Rose walked away, needing some time to let her emotions settle, so she could really let the past be the past and they could move forward.