TWELVE
BythetimeKit finally made it to the kitchen, I’d known he was awake for some time. Half an hour ago, after hearing him stirring, I’d knocked on his bedroom door, but he hadn’t answered. Still, I’d entered, but I hadn’t needed to go a foot farther than the doorway to know he wouldn’t have appreciated my intrusion. He’d been puking up his guts in the bathroom. Served him right for not listening to me. He was too young to drink. I should wring the neck of the damn fool who’d poured him a glass. And probably more, judging by the state he’d been in when I’d brought him home last night.
He’d vomited last night too. He’d been completely useless, so I’d had to strip off his clothes, wipe him down, and then put him to bed. All night, he’d been out cold except for that one crazy moment when he’d looked straight at me and asked why I couldn’t be his prince. He’d fallen asleep before I got past the shock to come up with a response.
Kit entered the living room, wrapped up in a fluffy pink fleece blanket that trailed after him on the floor.
“Good morning.” I studied him over the newspaper I was reading.
He winced, releasing one edge of the blanket to rub at his temples. “Not so loud. I have a headache from hell.”
“Geez, I wonder why.”
“Please don’t be a know-it-all right now.”
“Maybe this will help.” I gave him a bottle of water and some painkillers. “You should eat something too. You’ll feel better after.”
“I don’t think I could eat, but thanks.” He sat heavily around the table and unscrewed the bottle of water. He guzzled down some, swallowed two pills, and finished the bottle.
“Need another?”
“Yes, please.”
“This time, try it with one of these.”
I picked up a package of saltines and passed it to him. He grunted something that sounded like thanks and took it. He ripped the package apart a little too hard, and the crackers flew all over the blanket and the tabletop. Time stood still between us. How much of last night did he remember? Specifically, did he recall how hard I’d gotten when he’d bumped and ground his hips against my groin? It’d been through years-honed discipline I hadn’t ravished him on the dance floor in front of everyone.
The shocking truth was that I was attracted to another man. And not the version where he was dressed more feminine either. It had nothing at all to do with that. It was him—Kit—who I wanted.
“Go ahead,” he said quietly. “Yell at me. Tell me you no longer want to work with me.”
Without a word, I walked around the table, picked up each cracker that had fallen, and popped them back into the package.
“What do you want me to say, Kit?”
He raised his head and stared at me, his eyes cautious. “I don’t know.”
“I think I left you with the wrong impression yesterday.” I returned to the other end of the table to put some distance between us. An ocean between us wouldn’t be enough. Somehow, he’d gotten under my skin in the short time since I knew him.
“Actually, you made it pretty clear.” He shoved a saltine into his mouth. “Don’t worry about it. I’m a big boy who can handle rejection. Just don’t hold anything I might’ve said or done last night against me. I can’t even remember half of what happened during the night.”
It would be a long time before I forgot the details of last night. Of tracking the pendant he wore to the club, searching for minutes, growing antsy every second until I glimpsed him dancing with a group of guys. The way they’d looked at him, touched him, had rubbed me the wrong way.
“I didn’t say no to dinner because of what you used to do.”
“You mean because I was a prostitute? You can’t even say the word.”
“You being a prostitute had nothing to do with the reason I said no,” I said. “Your worth to me has no bearing whatsoever on who you slept with or what you did for money. I’ve been in this business for years, and the reason I’ve lasted this long is that I follow my rules. I never break them, and I’m already breaking them with you. It’s dangerous to mix business and pleasure, especially given what we do…what you have to do.”
“Plus, you’re straight, right?”
A week ago, I wouldn’t have had any problem answering yes without hesitation. Now, I couldn’t.
“It’s better this way,” I said firmly. “Nothing has changed. I just didn’t want you believing I think of you as any less because of what you used to do before. Do you understand?”
He nodded slowly. “But what if it didn’t end badly?”
“It’s not a risk I’m prepared to take. This is all physical, and it doesn’t make sense to entertain it until it spirals out of control. So are we good?”