I wanted to tell my dad off, to count on my fingers and toes all the ways he was wrong—that he was a horrible father and example—but nothing came out. I just sat there feeling shame. I couldn’t even get excited over my brother’s arrival because my dad was obviously going to make it a point to knock me down every time I tried to get up.
“Both of my kids need to grow up.” My dad looked at Kael, but Kael either didn’t notice or didn’t care, because his eyes were on me.
“I wonder where we get it from,” I snapped, under my breath.
“Where are you working now?” my dad asked me.
“Same place as last Tuesday,” I said, wishing I hadn’t driven so I could have another glass of wine.
Kael didn’t say anything, but the very, very tiny lift of his top lip told me he liked my response to my dad.
Something about Kael being there made me want to . . . show off? I didn’t want to come off as a brat or emotionally unstable, but I wanted it to be clear that I could hold my own with this decorated-by-the-Army man, who happened to be my dad. I wanted Kael to think I was cool, but not trying to be cool.
“Martin? Or Kael? What should we call you?” Estelle, the stage director, asked.
“Either is fine.” He was sitting up straight with his back aligned perfectly with the chair. I sat up, correcting my horrible posture.
“You’re in the same company!” Estelle read the patches on Kael’s uniform. “Honey, look. He’s in your company.”
My focus darted to my dad. He was thinking about it, his eyes sort of rolling as he thought through the roster of nameless, faceless soldiers he oversees from his throne.
“There are about two hundred people in the company.” My dad had the nicest voice when he was talking to Estelle. He was borderline a totally different person. But small hints of annoyance were there behind the smile despite the soft push of his voice. He was still being condescending to his beloved new wife, just in a nicer way than he would if he were talking to me. Or my mother, for that matter.
“Oh, of course. Aren’t most of your guys deployed right now?” Estelle turned her attention back to Kael. She hadn’t touched her food since sitting down after serving everyone.
He nodded.
“How did you—”
“Let’s eat,” my dad interrupted. I was glad he stopped her; she was moving beyond polite to nosy at this point.
“I’m sure the last thing he wants to talk about is deployment,” my dad said. He scraped his knife against his plate, cutting an already diced carrot. He always did that and no one ever said anything, even though the noise was ungodly annoying. I could see leftover scratches on my plate, in between the ham and the pile of carrots.
All of us, even Estelle, began to eat our dinner in silence. My thoughts went to my brother, hoping he was close by now, and hoping even more that this latest incident would be the one that finally made him grow up. I had a feeling it wouldn’t be, though.