CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR
Now it was Kael’s turn to call my name. Kael’s turn to bring me back to earth.
“Karina. Karina,” he said. “Listen to me, Karina. There’s an explanation—”
His words were gibberish. I could make out my name, but that was it. I could barely feel my body. The truck was parked on solid ground but felt like it was dangling over the edge of a cliff. “What is this, Kael?” I managed at last.
When he didn’t answer me, I screamed.
“What is this! What the hell is this?” I slammed the folder down onto the seat’s empty space between us. “Do not move any closer to me until you tell me what this is and why it has my brother’s name on it!” I was every emotion: fear, anger, disgust, contempt.
Had Austin really joined the Army? No fucking way that was what this was. I must be missing something. Kael stared at me blankly, I could see him doing it again, closing himself off like he did during the fight with my dad.
“Don’t you dare shut down! I want answers,” I insisted.Austin!I dug in my purse for my phone and, finding it, searched the screen to pull up his name. My head was spinning so fast that everything was blurry when I tried to call him. Of course he didn’t pick up.
“This can’t be true, Kael, didn’t you just give him a job? You . . .” I could barely get the words out. “You convinced him to enlist, didn’t you?” I spat at Kael as I yanked and pushed the door of the truck open and stepped outside.
I coughed, my lungs failing me as the world around us spun. “Oh my god.” It sank in. “You did this because of my dad . . . oh my god.” I held on to the door of the truck and Kael ran around to my side but kept himself at a safe distance.
“This doesn’t have anything to do with your dad. This was me helping your brother with his future! I did this because he needs to stop fucking up his life. His words, not mine.”
I wanted to scream at Kael. He was a marble statue—beautiful, but cold.
“You knew how I felt about Austin, and the Army, and the agreement we had that he would never enlist. You knew how much it would hurt me and you still did it. Oh my god, I’m such a fucking idiot.” I glared at him. “You’re so fucked up.” I put my head in my hands to not have to look him in the face.
It wasn’t worth trying to rationalize. People, some of them, hurt others as a way of masking their own pain, but some people just hurt other people simply to do it. I didn’t need to know anything else about Kael to know that he must be one of these people. All of the helping-Austin bullshit, all of the hours we spent and secrets we shared, it was all fake. I wrapped my arms around myself. I was going to be sick. Kael had the nerve to reach for me and I jerked away, moving from the street to the patch of grass next to the sidewalk in front of my house. I felt unstable in all forms of the word. My body and mind were no longer connecting.
Even though I couldn’t speak, I kept backing away, nearly tripping on the edge of the sidewalk.
“Karina! Please—” Kael pleaded. I held my hand up, silently begging him to stop.
“Get away from me!” Tears soaked my face and I brushed aside strands of hair stuck to my wet cheeks.
“Go!” I screamed, not caring that it was dark out or that I would be alone on the side of the road. I just wanted to be as far away from him as humanly possible.
And of course, because the universe hated me, the moment my shoes touched the ground and I yelled at him again to drive away, the sky started to cry with me, covering me with thick tears of rain from head to toe.
I collapsed in the grass after he pulled away and stayed there until the moon glared at me to go to my own bed and leave hers. There were no stars to dry my tears.