CHAPTER SEVEN
Tina was one of my favorite clients. She worked from home as a family therapist and, more often than not, let me use her massage session asmytherapy. I wasn’t open with too many people, but Tina had no one to tell my secrets to. It made me sad for her, though, thinking about how lonely she must be, eating dinner by herself in front of the TV most nights. Then again, aside from Elodie, that was pretty much my life, too. I guess I shouldn’t feel too much pity. At least Tina had a big house.
Today’s session with her felt like it was never going to end. I checked the clock again: ten minutes left.
“So, how are things with your brother?” she asked. I moved her hair to the side so I could focus on the tight muscles in her neck. Tina had recently cut her hair—“the Demi,” she called it—but hated it and immediately started wearing hats to cover her dark strands. It still wasn’t long enough to put into a ponytail. I thought she looked beautiful and wished my hair was as thick and soft as hers was.
I didn’t really want to talk about my brother. Actually, I didn’t want to feel the way I would feel if we talked about my brother. My day already sucked enough.
“The same. I’ve barely heard from him since he’s been staying with my uncle. Who knows when he’s coming back.” I sighed, gliding my fingers down the lower part of Tina’s neck.
“Is he in school there yet?” she asked.
“No. They keep saying they’re going to sign him up but haven’t.” I tried not to think much about it, but my brain didn’t work that way. Once I cracked the door open, the wood snapped off the hinges and everything rushed in.
“It sounds like they don’t plan on it,” Tina said.
“Yeah. I figured as much. He won’t talk to me about it, and his scholarship to the community college expired last month.”
Little pokes of stress rapped at my shoulders and down my spine. I understood that Austin couldn’t bear to live with our dad any longer, but I was conflicted; he was my twin, twenty and headed nowhere but the clouds. He shouldn’t be living in the next state over with our thirty-year-old uncle who smelled like Cheetos and watched online porn all day, but I also didn’t want him to live in my house with me. I knew that wasn’t a good idea, even if Elodie hadn’t been sleeping on my couch. It was complicated. I still couldn’t believe my dad had let him leave in the first place. But I really couldn’t blame my brother. Again, complicated.
“Honestly, Karina, you can’t take on full responsibility for this. It’s not good for you, and at the end of the day, your brother is an adult . . . the same age as you. Or five minutes younger, if I remember?”
“Six.” I smiled and moved my hands down to her shoulder blades.
I knew she was right. Austin wasn’t my problem to solve, but that didn’t make it any easier.
I moved my hands along her skin, using a compression stroke. “You have to decide what’s best for you,” she said. “You’re starting a new chapter and you should have the most decluttered life possible.”
Easier said than done.
“I’ll ask my dad if he’s heard anything from him and leave it at that.” I hated asking my dad about my brother because, even if he was a mess right now, he was still his son, the golden child. I could never compete with Austin for Dad’s affection, no matter how hard I may have tried.
Tina didn’t say anything after that. She must have known that talking through the drama of “dinner with my family” would be too much for me this early in the day, so she enjoyed the rest of her treatment while my thoughts boiled inside my brain.