“Jinx.” Andrew was leaning over, hands on his knees, wheezing.
Jane opened the door.
She felt her world tilt off center.
Nick wasn’t there.
Worse, his stuff wasn’t there. The apartment was almost empty. All of his cherished things—the leather couch he’d spent hours thinking about, the tasteful glass side tables, the hanging lamp, the plush brown carpet—all of it was gone. There was just a large, overstuffed chair facing the back wall. The beautiful brass and glass kitchen table set was gone. The big television. The stereo with its giant speakers. His record collection. The walls were bare; all of his cherished art was gone, even the pieces that Andrew had drawn for him.
She almost fell to her knees. Her hand went to her chest as she felt her heart tear in two.
Had Nick abandoned them?
Abandoned her?
She put her hand to her mouth so that she wouldn’t start screaming. She walked on shaky legs into the middle of the room. None of his magazines, his books, his shoes left by the balcony door. Each missing item was like an arrow piercing her heart. Jane was so terrified that she almost felt numb. All of the worst thoughts spun through her head—
He had left her. He knew that she was doubting him. That she had stopped believing in him, if just for a moment. He had disappeared. He had overdosed. He had found someone else.
He had tried to kill himself.
Jane’s knees buckled as she tried to walk down the hall. Nick had threatened to kill himself more than once and the thought of losing him was so wrenching to Jane that each time she had cried out like a child, begging him to please stay with her.
I can’t live without you. I need you. You are the breath in my body. Please never leave me.
“Jane?” Andrew had made it to the door. “Jane, where are you?”
Nick’s bedroom door was closed. She had to brace herself against the wall as she made her way down the hallway. Past the bathroom—toothbrush, toothpaste, no cologne, no shaving set, no brush and comb.
More arrows slicing open her heart.
Jane stopped outside the bedroom. Her hand could barely grip the doorknob. There was not enough air to fill her lungs. Her heart had stopped its steady beat.
She pushed open the door.
A strangled sound came from her throat.
No bed with its puffy duvet. No side tables with matching lamps. No antique chest of drawers Nick had lovingly refinished. Only a sleeping bag was rolled out on the bare floor.
The closet door was open.
Jane started crying again, almost sobbing from relief, when she saw that his clothes were still hanging on the rack. Nick loved his clothes. He would never leave without them.
“Jinx?” Andrew was beside her, holding her up.
“I thought—” Her knees finally sunk to the floor. She felt sick again. “I thought he—”
“Come back through here.” Andrew lifted her to standing and practically carried her out of the room.
Jane leaned into him as they walked up the hallway, her feet dragging across the bare floor. He took her into the living room. He flipped the light switch. Jane squinted from the glare. Even the light fixtures were missing. Bare bulbs hung from the sockets. Except for the massive chair that looked like it belonged on the street, everything that Nick had ever cared for was gone.
His clothes were still in the closet. He would not leave his clothes.
Would he?
“Is—” she couldn’t say the words. “Andrew, where—”
Andrew put his finger to his lips, indicating that there might be someone listening.