“Can he do that? Veto a project that’s otherwise well received?”
“Considering his position and seniority, yes.”
“Why, though?”
He sighs. “It could be anything. Perhaps he is jealous of a brilliant proposal, or he’d rather the funding go to someone else. Some of his close collaborators have applied, I hear.” A pause. “Something he said made me suspect that...”
“What?”
“That he didn’t believe you capable of doing the work.”
I stiffen. “Excuse me?”
“He didn’t seem to find faults in the proposal. But he did talk about your role in it in less-than-flattering tones. Of course, I tried to push back.”
I close my eyes, suddenly nauseous. I cannot believe Ian would do this. I cannot believe he’d be such a backstabbing, miserable dick. Maybe we’re not close friends, but after our last meeting, I thought he... I don’t know. I have no idea. I think maybe I had expectations of something, but this puts a swift end to them. “I’m going to appeal.”
“There is no reason to do that, Hannah.”
“There are plenty of reasons. If Ian thinks that I’m not good enough despite my CV, I—”
“Do you know him?” Merel interrupts me.
“What?”
“I was wondering if you two know each other?”
“No. No, I...” Once humped his leg. It was fantastic. “Barely. Just in passing.”
“I see. I was just curious. It would explain why he was so determined about denying your project. I’d never seen him quite so... adamant that a proposal not get accepted.” He waves his hand, like this is not important. “But you shouldn’t concern yourself with this, because I have already secured alternative funding for your project.”
Oh. Now this I did not expect. “Alternative funding?”
“I reached out to a few team leaders who owed me favors. I asked them if they had any budget surplus they might want to dedicate to your project, and I was able to put together enough to send you back to Norway.”
I half gasp, half laugh. “Really?”
“Indeed.”
“On the next AMASE?”
“The one that leaves in February of next year, yes.”
“What about the help I asked for? I will need one other person to help me build the mini-rover and to be in the field. And I’ll have to travel quite a way from home base, which might be dangerous on my own.”
“I don’t think we’ll be able to finance another expedition member.”
I press my lips together and think about it. I can probably do most of the prep work on my own. If I don’t sleep for the next few months, which... I’ve done it before. I’ll be fine. The problem would be when I get to Svalbard. It’s too risky to—
“I’ll be there, out in the field with you, of course,” Dr. Merel says. I’m a little surprised. In the months we were in Norway, I saw him do very little sample collecting and snow plodding. I’ve always thought of him as more of a coordinator. But if he offered, he must mean it, and... I smile. “Perfect, then. Thank you.”
I slip out of the room, and for about two weeks I’m high enough on the knowledge that my project will be happening that I manage to do just that: not let anyone know. I don’t even tell Mara and Sadie when we FaceTime, because... because to explain the degree of Ian’s betrayal, I’d have to admit to the lie I told them years ago. Because I feel like a total idiot for trusting someone who deserves nothing from me. Because being honest with them would first require me to be honest with myself, and I’m too angry, tired, disappointed for that. In my rants, Ian becomes a faceless, anonymous figure, and there is something freeing in that. In not letting myself remember that I used to think of him fondly, and by name.
Then, exactly seventeen days later, I meet Ian Floyd in the stairwell. And that’s when everything goes to shit.
•••
I spot him before he sees me—because of the red, and the general largeness, and the fact that he’s climbing up while I’m going down. There are about five elevators here, and I’m not sure why anyone would willingly choose to subject their bodies to the stress of upward stairs, but I’m too shocked that Ian is the one doing it. It’s the kind of glory-less overachieving I’ve come to expect from him.