CHAPTERFIVE
Becca
“Come on. One more dance.”
I laugh as June spirals over to me, radiant in her fire-colored dress. She grins, and her eyes are a little hazy from alcohol. I’ve hardly touched any myself.
I’ve been standing near the buffet table, staring across the function hall, getting as many sneaky glances at Ben as I can.
“Maybe later,” I say. “Honestly, go ahead. I’m fine. You know I’m not much of a dancer.”
June shrugs, and suddenly she’s off, twirling into her next dance. I grin as I watch her, envying her confidence. But I don’t envy the way the men look at her with open admiration.
I only want that from one man.
Shame hit me during the ceremony. I should’ve been wholly focused on my big brother’s marriage, the most important day of his life, but I couldn’t help but stare at Ben. He loomed in the background, his silver hair swept to the side, his body firm and powerful in his suit.
It made my body tingle, thrum with what we almost did, pulse with the near kiss.
A few minutes ago, he was standing on the other side of the room, making polite conversation with a woman.
At least, I didn’t see any physical contact, and she was doing way more laughing than him.
But what if it was more than polite?
He’s disappeared now, vanished from the room. I let out a pathetic sigh of relief when I see the woman emerge, walking across the room to her group of friends.
At least she hasn’t gone with Ben someplace.
A physical ache grips me, like a fist clamping inside my chest, when I think about Ben doing anything sexual, romantic, or intimate with anybody else.
That’s all for me.
We would’ve kissed right there at the pond; we would have if I didn’t stupidly shout yes when Alex yelled my name.
And then what?
I saw how he looked at me when he learned who I really was and heard how he snapped.
It’s a crush. I need to stop. A silly girly crush.
But I know the truth. It’s so much more than that.
Suddenly, my feet are leading me to the nearest exit.
The music is too loud, the air too warm, cloying. I’m careful not to make a scene as I head outside. I don’t want to make Alex’s special day about me, even a little bit, so I slip out the door and walk quietly onto the grounds.
I walk down the stone pathway, coming to a courtyard area with a fountain. The sun is slowly setting, the shadows long, shades of red and yellow clashing.
Watching the water and listening to it splash, I reason with myself.
Ben wanted me. Crazily, unbelievably, he wanted to kiss me.
I felt his want radiating from him like an unstoppable need. I felt his body, the sheer pulsing power of it like he was ready to explode into more than a kiss.
So fine, yes, a dream came true. Ben doesn’t find me disgusting like I often feared.
But he doesn’t want me now. The second he learned who I was, he stepped away like I was toxic.