“I’m not saying I don’t have regrets, baby. I’m fucking full of them. I never meant to hurt you. Honestly, I think I figured you would be pissed, not so hurt. But your ma, she made it perfectly clear how much you were hurting when I left.”
“The anger came after. And I’m not sure it ever really went away,” I admitted. “Until I thought I might not ever see you again.”
“Are we getting back to you berating me for being stupid and reckless? I got a lot of aches and pains to remind me, you know,” he said, giving me a small smile.
“You really were stupid and reckless,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, I realized that about the moment the van doors closed,” I admitted. “Never thought anyone would be able to find me. Never should have doubted your stubborn ass, though.”
“It helps that you’re sentimental.”
“How so?”
“It didn’t take much to get into your phone,” I explained. “Once we got into that, we did some digging. Uselessly. Until, eventually, Nave saved the day and texted Curtis acting like some horny chick he’d hooked up with in the past.”
“Can always count on a guy’s dick to give him up,” Valen said, smirking. “Speaking of…”
“Oh, my God. We are not fucking right now,” I said, getting a chuckle out of him. “You’re injured. And I’m tired.”
“I mean, I wouldn’t turn that down, regardless of how sore I am. But that’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean?” I asked, not able to hold back a yawn.
“I mean, we need to talk about the future. Including my dick,” he added.
“I think you had too much whiskey.”
“No, that was just my indelicate way of getting to my point. About how I think I got enough life experience. And I think you did too. So, what do you think about giving it another go?”
“It,” I repeated.
“This. Us. You can’t pretend that we haven’t been building toward something again.”
“I’ve been doing nothing but denying that, actually,” I said, sharing a smile with him.
“Do you want to be with me?” Valen asked.
“I’ve never… not wanted to be with you,” I said, getting a head shake from him.
“You could just say it, you know, Lulu.”
He made it sound so easy.
Because he wasn’t the one who’d had his heart trampled on. Still, after all of this, it felt pointless trying to deny the truth.
“I want to be with you,” I admitted. “But with the understanding that if you ever do something like that to me again, I will—“
“Melt me in a tub of lye.”
“After letting my mom use different poisons on you for a couple of weeks first,” I said, getting a bit of a green color to tinge his skin.
“I’d never do that again,” he told me, tone serious. “In fact, you have assurances now. I’m getting a patch in this club. I’m putting down roots in Navesink Bank. I’m not going anywhere. You’re the flight risk now.”
“Well, Vi actually gave me an idea for a job. Since I’m never getting a patch now.”
“And you never really wanted one to begin with,” he clarified.
“True,” I agreed. “I just wanted to fuck with you.”
“What was Vi’s idea?”
“She said she could see me teaching at or helping run Lo and Janie’s gym. She said she thinks they’re getting ready to step back from it, and I practically grew up in that gym.”
“I can totally see you doing that. And you have whatever real-life skills you learned while traveling and working to use to teach now too.”
“Yeah. I mean, I would have to talk to Lo about it. But it’s something I could see myself enjoying doing. Not sitting around at a desk. Which we both know would drive me nuts. I mean this whole next-next generation of kids is going to need their own kick-ass auntie to teach them all about self-defense, right?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely,” he agreed. “And a kick-ass mama too,” he added, and that old, familiar swelling thing happened in my chest. The way it used to always happen when he would talk about a future for us. One that involved a house and kids and a happily ever after I never really knew I wanted until he showed me it was possible.
“Eventually, yeah, if I’m sure the potential daddy is the man I always thought he might grow into,” I said.
“I’m different than I was, Lulu,” he said, giving me a small shrug. “Life was different than I’d been expecting.”
“We should make a club. Print up some t-shirts,” I said, nodding. “I think any of us who moved away from this town to gain some independence had life kick the shit out of us. That’s what happens when you leave this safety net we have here.”
“True. I bet you have some stories to tell.”
“You too,” I agreed. “Starting with that whole Curtis mess.”