And that, maybe, I really needed a drink.
Which, if I wanted to be in walking distance so I could leave my car, only left one real option in Navesink Bank.
Chaz’s.
The bar owned by the loanshark family.
You know, the one that the guy I’d been dating when Valen came into my life belonged to.
I mean, it wasn’t like I would see him anyway. It was just your average weekday night. Which meant I was likely only going to run into some newly twenty-one-year-olds, some blue-collar guys avoiding going home to their bachelor pads, and maybe a couple of the criminal families’ offspring.
“What can I get for you?” the bartender asked, giving me a look that said he could tell immediately that I was there for something strong that burned, something to chase something away with, not for a casual weekday night drink.
“She’ll have a whiskey on the rocks. With an umbrella,” a voice said from behind my shoulder, making my stomach tense even as my spine straightened.
Jase Mallick.
The guy Valen had stolen me away from.
Damnit.
“Of course. Of fucking course,” I grumbled to myself as I gave a little wave to the bartender that said Jase was right. “The umbrella isn’t necessary.”
“It is,” Jase corrected, making me turn to look as he moved to take the empty stool beside me.
He looked good.
I mean, the guy always looked good. He came from good stock. His father was hot. His uncles were hot. Even his damn grandfather was hot.
And Jason Mallick—who absolutely refused to be called Jason—was like a copy and paste of his father. Tall, broad and really strong, dark hair, light eyes, chiseled features, and tattoos.
Age had recommended him. As it seemed to do with most men. His face was even more defined, his muscles even more impressive.
He was a damn fine man. And that little smirk of his said he knew it.
“Now, is that any way to talk to an old friend?” he asked, tssking at me.
“Are we that, though?” I asked, hearing a tinge of regret in my voice.
I mean, I’d never actually cheated on Jase. I wasn’t the cheating kind. But feelings had started to develop for Valen while I was with him. And then I’d just dumped Jase out of the blue and started going with Valen.
I knew that couldn’t have been easy.
Jase was a guy with a lot of pride, and it had to have bruised the fuck out of it to see me around town with Valen when people knew I’d been with him just days before.
And, you know, there had been feelings. Not the kind of feelings I had for Valen. Not by a long shot. But I cared about Jase. I’d even told myself I might be able to love him some day.
But loving Jase would have been just that.
A choice.
Whereas loving Valen felt like something I had no control over, something that I could never deny or even fully stop doing.
“Oh, come on, Lu,” he said shaking his head at me as he rested his arm on the bar, kind of blocking off the rest of it, somehow making a busy bar feel almost intimate. “We were always friends. Maybe only ever… friends.”
I knew that insinuation.
I’d started dating Jase when I was still underage. And he was a little older. We’d never “gone all the way.” So we were almost like friends who made out a lot.
He’d never pressured me either.
First, because he was a good guy.
Second, because, well, his mom would have castrated him herself if she found out he was that type of guy. And his uncles would have held him down. His grandmother would have provided the knife.
I’d loved his family.
His big, loud, crazy family.
To an extent, I think I was just as into them as I was into him.
“Kissing friends,” I clarified as I took my drink, reaching for the silly pink umbrella with a smile.
Jase had given me my first drink.
He’d stolen the keys to Chaz’s and snuck me in through the back one day, making me sit at the bar like I was twenty-one, and order my first drink from him.
But I didn’t know what to order.
So he’d picked for me.
Whiskey, on the rocks.
“Because it sounds badass.” That was what he’d said. “But with an umbrella because you’re a lady too, even if you hate to admit it.”
“Just like old times,” he said, giving me a soft smile.
“Except, this time, I’m not drinking for fun,” I admitted, putting the umbrella down on the bar and draining my glass in one long gulp, leaving the sad little ice at the bottom of the cup.
“Another,” he called to the bartender who clearly knew that Jase was, you know, related to the bosses because he practically tripped over himself to refill my glass. “So, let me guess here. You drinking on a weeknight. When Valen just so happens to be back in town.”