“Fuck, yeah, come for me,” Valen growled as he fucked me harder still, making me need to slap my hands onto the vanity counter to keep from smashing into the mirror.
And then, just like that, just like always, I did.
His hand slammed over my mouth, muffling the sounds. And thank God for that. Because the last thing I needed was for him to hear me cry out his name.
Valen came on the tail-end of my orgasm, hissing out his release.
That couple seconds of a head start meant I also managed to come back down first. And when that happened, my rational mind came rushing back as well.
I wasn’t surprised by the panic.
And, for once, it wasn’t just because I didn’t want him to have the upper hand.
It was because this was so damn dangerous for me.
It was bad enough just being near him, sharing spaces with him, watching him be the man I always knew he would grow up to be.
Then getting tended to by him when I was hurt was pretty tough too.
But actually getting physical with him?
That was, like, Def Con One level of dangerous.
I couldn’t risk getting hurt like that again.
I wasn’t sure I could get through it a second time.
Not with any sense of self intact anyway.
So I straightened up. I tucked my tits away. I yanked my pants back into place. Then I moved around Valen who was still trying to catch his breath and find his equilibrium.
I wished I could find something clever to say, some way to brush the whole thing off, but I was too busy trying to remind myself of all the reasons I couldn’t let myself start having romantic feelings toward him again.
So I just walked away.
And maybe that was poetic enough.
This time, I was the one to leave.
But it was probably too much to hope he felt even a bit of the same hurt that I’d felt all those years ago.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Valen
I had no right to feel as disappointed as I had when she’d pulled away from me then walked out of the room like shit hadn’t just changed between us.
Because they had.
I really never saw it coming.
After the cold shoulder I’d been getting since the whole shower thing.
But then there she was, looking as good as she always fucking looked, and she didn’t sass at me or rush away.
So I went for it.
Then, yeah, shit got a little out of hand.
I should have known better.
To break down Louana’s defenses, she needed the shit she normally didn’t allow into her life. The soft, the sweet. Long hours tangled in bed. Intimacy, not just sex.
Sex, she could compartmentalize.
Intimacy, not so much.
But getting just the sex meant she could walk away.
And walk away she did.
Not just out of the prospect room.
Oh, no.
Out of the entire fucking clubhouse.
I’d like to say I didn’t look for her, but I couldn’t help it. Hours passed with no sign of her.
“What?” Brooks asked when I walked out front for what had to be the tenth time, like being outside would make her Mustang come pulling back into the yard faster.
“Nothing.”
“She’s not back yet,” Brooks said, clearly reading the situation.
“Who?” I asked, getting a humorless laugh from Brooks.
“Please, Valen. The only person you’re fooling is yourself here. And even that, I suspect, not well.”
“Where’d she go?” I asked.
“I’m not her father, man,” Brooks said. “Have I asked you where you’ve been disappearing to left and right lately? Or called your boy Voss on covering for you and lying to my face?” he asked.
Of course Voss had covered for me.
Without a pause. Without even asking where I’d been, and why he’d needed to put his neck on the line.
“Why haven’t you called us on it then?”
To that, Brooks looked away from me, staring off at Navesink Bank.
“I figure we all have our shit, yeah? And sometimes, as loyal as we might be, that shit isn’t anyone else’s business. So long as the work is done and you pull your weight when you are here, I don’t think I need to give you too much shit.”
That was… interesting.
Almost as if to say that Brooks himself had some “shit” that wasn’t “anyone’s business.”
“I think the only thing that I need to know is if this shit that is coming to a head between you two is going to fuck with the rest of the club.”
“It won’t,” I assured him.
But all he gave me was a head shake.
“Sounds like a familiar fucking story,” he said before turning and making his way back into the clubhouse.
I was just reaching for my phone to call my sister under the pretense of a friendly, brotherly call, so I could see if maybe Louana was with her, when the text came in.
Now.
“Fuck,” I hissed, feeling that familiar knot in my stomach.
But it was just one job, right?