“I’m fine, guys,” Cam says with an exasperated sigh. “Just give me a few minutes and let me handle this on my own.”
“Okay, sorry!” Evie says, shutting the door only to open it a second later to add, “I’m pre-heating the oven for bacon and already have it on the parchment paper. If you want to stick it in when it beeps, that would be great because I really need bacon and have to head out in an hour for my shift at the winter carnival.” Her eyes brighten as she glances back to me. “It’s a toy carnival. We’re selling handmade puppets at my booth and all the proceeds go to help get homeless kids and their families off the street. You should bring your daughter! There are so many cool things to look at and play with; she’ll be in kid heaven.”
I nod loosely, still too confused to focus on plans for the day beyond figuring out what the hell’s going on with Cam. “Okay, thanks. I’ll um…I’ll get some more information from you before I leave.”
“Great.” Evie beams at me, before turning to Cam and mouthing, “You’ve got this, she’s great, it’s going to be fine,” and slamming the door again.
Cam sighs again before he murmurs in a soft voice, “Sorry. She’s under the impression that other people can’t read lips. That it’s our special, friend group skill, or something. She’s been like that since we were kids.”
“It’s fine,” I say. “She clearly means well, and I am great and maybe everything is going to be fine. I’m just…” I shake my head with another laugh. “I’m sorry, I just… There’s no way that was your first time last night, right? That’s like…not possible. I’m clearly misunderstanding something here.”
He nods toward the table. “Would you like a cup of coffee? It’s still warm. Or I could nuke it for you if you prefer it hot.”
I cross my arms over my chest, suddenly keenly aware of the fact that I’m not wearing a bra under the massive sweatshirt of Cam’s I wore to bed. “Your stalling isn’t reassuring Cameron.”
He crosses his arms, mirroring my defensive pose. “Sorry. I just… I wanted to wait and tell you when the time was right.”
“The time would have been right last night. Before we slept together,” I sputter, fighting to keep my voice low as anxiety dumps into my bloodstream. I pace a few steps to the left before spinning and pacing back the way I came. “Oh my God, I can’t believe this. I molested a virgin. I’m a molester.”
“You’re not a molester. I’m a full-grown man who was totally on board with everything that happened. More than on board. I was an enthusiastic participant. I would have hoped that was abundantly clear.”
“But you were an innocent sex baby,” I say, my ribs squeezing tight. “A virginal babe in the woods who should have been handled with care and I just…jumped on it without a second thought. I didn’t check to make sure you were still okay or that you weren’t having second thoughts and I—”
“Stop it.” He moves in front of me, stilling my pacing with firm hands on my shoulders as he leans down, his humorless gaze locking with mine. “I wasn’t a baby in any sense of the word. My ex-girlfriend and I were together for almost five years, and for most of that time, we did everything but have penetrative sex. And it wasn’t my choice to wait; it was hers. So, it’s not like this was a moral decision for me or something that happened because I was nervous about taking the next step.”
I swallow, my heart slowly sliding back down into my chest from where it was lodged in my throat. “Okay, but still… You’d waited so long. And your first time is a big deal.”
“It is,” he agrees. “But I ended up a twenty-four-year-old virgin because I was waiting to marry a woman who ended up cheating on me. And because after being in a relationship with someone I loved, it didn’t feel right to rush into a casual fling with someone else. It wasn’t because I’d built it up to be some big deal or something. I didn’t need to be handled with kid gloves last night; I promise.”
“But you still should have told me.” I pick at a bit of dry skin on my thumb as I add in a softer voice, “Or at least, I wish you’d told me.”
“I’m sorry.” He straightens, his hands slipping from my shoulders, leaving me aching for his touch. “You’re right. I should have said something. I just didn’t want to ruin the night. We were having so much fun and everything was going so well. I wanted to enjoy being with you, in bed and out of it, without adding unnecessary stress into the mix.”