Zebah makes a face. “Not funny.”
CHAPTER 72
HELEN
My poor Mathiras seems stressed as we return to the Little Sister. He’s quiet as we board and the ship abandons the dock, heading into space. Adiron’s face is full of questions, but he doesn’t ask, just gives me a helpless look. “Change of plans?”
“Change of plans,” I agree, squeezing Mathiras’s arm.
Mathiras just rubs a hand down his face. “We’ll talk about it in the morning.”
“No need to wait until then,” Zebah says, slinking over to Adiron’s side on the bridge. “I’ve got a tracker on our slaver friend. I can help you set up the coordinates.”
“Sweet,” Adi says. He shoots his brother another look and when Mathiras just nods, he gestures for Zebah. “Have a seat with me.”
“I’m going to go check on our sweet little humans and see if they’re chewing on the furniture,” Bethiah says.
“I’m taking Mathiras to the showers,” I announce.
“No,” Mathiras tells me. “We’re going to med-bay to check on that wound Helen has. I don’t like that she got hurt.”
“Aw,” I whine. “But I feel fine.” And now that we’re back on the ship, my brain is focused on other things. Things like Matty’s hands. And Matty’s mouth on the spot behind my ear. And…Matty’s hands. And a shower.
Adiron nods. “You should let him fuss over you, Helen. It’ll make him feel better.” There’s an odd look on Adi’s face as he says that, giving me an encouraging glance. “I’ve got the bridge covered.”
Oh. Make Mathiras feel better? I look over at my lover and his expression is awfully grim. Poor Matty. He does seem rather upset that we didn’t rescue the humans. Maybe he does need to fuss over me a bit to distract himself. Helpfully, I put a hand on my stomach. “It does hurt a little, I suppose.”
Immediately, Mathiras looks concerned. He sweeps me up into his arms, carrying me off the bridge. Oh. I cling to the front of his tunic, impressed. I like this. Maybe I should pretend to be hurt more often. I smile up at him as he takes me down the hall, toward the med-bay. There’s an intense expression on his face, as if he’s focused and has a new plan at work. Adiron was right—Mathiras needs something—someone—to protect and look after. I wonder if he feels a little lost without that.
Well, I’m perfectly happy to let him fuss over me.
He cradles me gently against his chest, and when it comes time to set me down upon the bed in med-bay, he does so with the greatest of care, as if I’m a precious object that could break at any moment. I gaze up at him, my heart bursting with love as he immediately releases the auto-fastener again, undressing me. “I want to make sure this isn’t anything to worry about,” he tells me as he turns the machine on. “If you’re scared, I want you to hold my hand.”
I immediately lift my hand up and he grabs it. I’m not scared, I just like touching him.
Mathiras purses his lips as he gazes down at my stomach. There’s a light sheen of blood, but it only stings, and something tells me it’s a surface wound more than anything else. But he looks miserable at the sight of it. “I failed you, Helen.” His tortured gaze is full of self-recrimination. “I failed those humans tonight, and I failed Zebah, and I failed you because I let you get hurt. I was keffing useless.” He rubs his mouth. “I feel like I should have done more.”
“You did everything you could,” I protest. “Just because you weren’t the one punching people doesn’t mean anything.”
“It meant I wasn’t protecting you.”
“I don’t need protecting,” I exclaim, trying to sit up. The machine beeps a protest and Mathiras puts a hand on my chest, nudging me back down. Reluctantly, I lie flat again. “I know you’re amazing and good with a blaster. It’s obvious in the way you hold yourself and the respect your brothers and Zebah and Bethiah have for you. But now that I’m here, you can focus on being the leader. No one else is good at that at all. We need you more than you need us.” I squeeze his hand, reaching for it again. “I think you’re amazing.”
“We didn’t save those humans tonight.” He holds my hand tightly, pressing it against his chest as if drawing comfort from me. “I promised the two with us that I’d bring the others back. I failed them, and they might be in trouble even now. When I think of them, I think of my sister, Zoey. And I think of you and Jade and the others. And it eats me up inside.”
I shake my head, frustrated as the machine makes another pass over my barely scratched stomach. “They won’t kill them, Matty. All those slaves are worth more alive than dead, right? If they worry they’re being followed, they’ll just offload them somewhere safe, like they did with the Star. And if that’s the case, you’ll find them, because you found me.” I beam up at him. “You’re the only person in the universe that’s trying to save them, and no one can be mad that there was a bit of a delay. Things happen. We’re not giving up, are we?”