I wiggle atop his lap, because I can feel his cock through his trou. It’s growing hard and pressing between my thighs in a rather delightful way. “Why would I not be keeping cool?”
“Because I might get injured again? We all might. What we’re doing is dangerous, Helen, but I’m going to need you to stay focused.” He leans back in the chair and studies me, curious. “You…didn’t even notice that one of the humans I brought back is a clone of Ruth?”
I…didn’t notice. I run a hand down his plas-bandaged arm. “I was more focused on you.”
“And that’s why I worry. It’s going to be dangerous, but I need you to focus on the bigger picture, and not just me.”
But I don’t care about a bigger picture if he gets hurt. I bite back the words, trying not to frown at him. Doesn’t he realize if something happens to him I’m going to die with him? That I don’t want to go on without him? “I don’t like the bigger picture.”
“Kef, neither do I.” He chuckles, the sound weary. “But if we’re going to save these people, our plan has to go off without a hitch, all right?” His big, warm hand strokes down my back.
“Just promise me you won’t die.”
Mathiras strokes my back again, his hand sliding down to my backside. “I will absolutely not die. I happen to have the universe’s best bodyguard on my side.”
Oh, that’s me. I love hearing him say that, how his voice gets so warm and gooey when he says the word “bodyguard.” It makes my toes curl in my boots and I wriggle backward on his thighs a bit, reaching between us to rub my palm against the bulge of his cock. I love touching him and I’m craving his response. “Can I make you feel better?”
He shifts in his seat, and to my surprise he lifts me up and settles me on the control panel in front of his chair. “Today isn’t about me, remember? You wanted me to make you come.”
I bite my lip, feeling suddenly a little shy. I want to clench up everything at the thought of him doing that to me, but I’m worried, too. “I want to do that, but what if I do it wrong?”
Mathiras grins at me. “I assure you, if it feels good, you’re not doing it wrong.”
I consider this. It’s easy to declare that I want more, especially after seeing how satisfied Zakoar’s human mate seemed after he touched her, and he was scary looking. But now that we’re alone and I’m about to have this moment, it feels intimidating. I want him to be happy with touching me like I am with him, and I don’t want to miss out. But at the same time… “I’m nervous.”
His expression softens. “Would you feel better if I held you the entire time?”
Oh, I think I would. I nod.
Mathiras pats his thigh, indicating I should sit on his lap. “Come lean back against me.”
I slide back into his arms, turning so my spine rests against his chest. His arms immediately go around me, his face nuzzling against my neck. I close my eyes, leaning against him, and this does feel good. It feels perfect, and I relax as he presses kisses against the side of my throat. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, love. Remember that. If it takes you a year to get to where you’re comfortable in my arms, then it takes a year.”
“But I don’t want it to take a year. I want it now.”
He chuckles, and his breath is warm against my skin. “We’ll try a little now, then. Just remember we can stop at any time.” He kisses up to my ear, but instead of touching my ear, he swipes his tongue behind it, and a hot shudder curls through my extremities as he hits that one particularly sensitive spot.
I pant, clinging to one of the arms locked around my waist. “You can do that again. I like that.”
“Yeah?” His voice is soft against my skin, sending goosebumps through me as he teasingly licks the spot once more. “See? There’s no need to be afraid. I’ve got you. You’re safe in my arms and I want nothing more than to make you feel good. Do you trust me, Helen?”
Of course I trust him. But I know what he’s asking. Am I going to give myself over to him completely? Let him guide my body toward the pleasure that’s supposed to be waiting for me? I want to say yes. I absolutely want to. But I also like being in control and when he touches me like that, I feel completely out of control. “I trust you, but what if I don’t like it? What if they programmed me to only want to pleasure others and not myself?”