“Sad eyes. Got it.” That feels useful to remember. If Mathiras yells, give him sad eyes. “I’ll go get my rolling pin!”
CHAPTER 22
MATHIRAS
I feel like a deviant by the time I step onto the bridge. It’s empty, and I’m relieved that Adiron abandoned his station, because now I don’t have to field any questions about why I took the longest keffing shower ever, or why Helen was in my bed. The shower was…rough. Every time I’d go to turn the water off, I’d imagine Helen waiting for me, or the feeling of her bottom pressing up against my cock, and I’d have to take myself in hand again.
And again.
And again.
I haven’t been this bad since I served in the military and saw my first set of alien tits at a seedy cantina while on leave. It was expected back then, when I was just a young lad. To lose control like this as an adult is shameful. I told Helen we needed pants if she’s going to sleep with me. I wonder how many pairs I can wear before she starts to get suspicious that I’m armoring myself against the feel of her body.
The twisted thought of educating her in sex rises in my mind again. But how would that look if I deliberately kept Helen with me on the Little Sister and then immediately took advantage of her? I’d be an awful, awful male. It’s clear that Helen wants to test her boundaries, though. I’ll just have to be stronger.
I sit down at the nav chair, noticing a cold cup of night tea left atop one of the control panels. I pick it up and swig it, checking through the night’s activity logs. It’s been quiet. Risda III is on a fairly “dead” end of space, with not a lot of traffic back and forth. We’ve passed a few ships but nothing to be concerned about, and we’ve got at least another day of hyperspeed travel before we hit our first target, a fueling station where we can restock and inquire about cloning on the sly. Until then, all is quiet.
I drink the rest of the night tea and find myself wondering what Helen is up to. I don’t have to sit up here the whole time by myself, not when things are peaceful like this. I could put on a vid, check the newsfeeds from Homeworld, or even do a bit of maintenance. Instead, I find myself wondering about the qura’aki clone. Is she still thinking about this morning? She didn’t seem upset to find me grinding against her. If anything, she was breathless, and I could have sworn I’d scented her arousal.
My cock stirs at the thought despite the pounding I’ve given it, and I press a hand against my trou irritably. Helen’s arousal is the last thing I need to be thinking about.
I stare out at the empty space lane, but my thoughts keep turning back to Helen. Unable to help myself, I pull up the ship’s map on screen and look for the blips that announce Adi and Helen’s locations. They’re both together in the gym. Huh. I flick on the monitor, unable to help myself. I just want to see what they’re up to.
The vid screen shows Helen, standing across from Adiron on the mats. Her feet are bare and she wears Zoey’s ridiculous-fitting jumper, and it looks even more absurd from afar. I need to get her clothes of her own, I decide. Has Helen ever had something that wasn’t a cast-off? Why hasn’t that been a priority? I know the answer, though. The other women have had mates looking out for them and I’m the one that’s supposed to be taking care of Helen, and instead I’ve been doing my best to ignore her. Her friends have been busy with a variety of things, and I suspect it wouldn’t occur to Helen to ask.
As I watch her face in the vid, she smiles and then breaks into a full-out laugh, her head going back and her slippery, silken lavender hair ripples behind her. She puts a hand to her chest, as if it’s too much for her to take, and Adiron grins, gesturing at something.
I’m instantly jealous. Not because I have to worry about Adiron stealing Helen, but because he’s gotten her to laugh like that and I haven’t. Irritated at my reaction, I pick up my data-pad and make a note to myself: Helen needs clothes when we refuel. Then, I set it down, pick up the empty mug and dump it into the sterilizer in the mess hall, and head for the gym.
I can hear Helen laughing—along with Adiron—before the door even slides open. The moment it does, they go silent, and a wary look crosses Helen’s face, like she feels guilty for having a good time. I feel like a keffing monster all over again at the sight of that. Am I really such a buzzkill to be around?