Her beautiful eyes narrow at me. “Kid?!” She flicks my hand off her shoulder, turns, and storms into the Little Sister.
Okay, she didn’t like that. Didn’t feel right on the tongue, either. But it got the point across. I can’t think of Helen as anything but a little sister, just like Zoey.
CHAPTER 15
HELEN
Kid.
Kid! He thinks I’m a kid! A child!
My jaw clenched, I push my way to the small room that’s been mine since we recovered the Little Sister from Jerrok’s station. Mathiras sees me as a child, after all we’ve been through, and the hurt I feel soaks through my chest and into my bones. Is it possible to die from someone else’s words? My heart feels as if it’s falling apart.
I don’t understand him. We got along so well when we were on the abandoned mining station. When it was just him and me, spending endless amounts of time together. He never called me kid, then. He was never mean or hurt my feelings. He never pushed me away when others were around or refused to sit with me at mealtime. It’s like he doesn’t want to be around me for some reason, and that hurts, badly. I don’t know if I made him mad somehow, or embarrassed him, but he’s made it clear he doesn’t even want to be my friend.
Closing the door to my room, I sit on the edge of the bed and hug a pillow to my chest.
I…hate this room. It’s small, and I’m told it was Zoey’s room before she moved to be with her mate. The size of it isn’t what bothers me, though. It’s that I’m alone. The bed is narrow and tidy, and all the doodles that Alice and Jade and Ruth made on the walls for me back on the Buoyant Star aren’t here to remind me of home. The walls here are bare. The vid screen shows the bridge, because I don’t like being alone in a room. It makes me feel scared and lonely, so I watch the bridge because Mathiras is always there. In the tiny cubicle that serves as my closet, I have a change of clothes and a dried flower that one of the guards in Port gave me, and that’s it. I even had to return all the vid tapes that they’d let me borrow. There’s nothing in this quiet, lonely room that is me.
This isn’t my home. Mathiras’s words drive that home, and I wonder if this is how it’s going to be for the rest of my life. Am I going to be shoved from one place to the next as people try to figure out what to do with me? The only reason I’m here is because I got pushy with Mathiras and insisted on him keeping his promise.
There’s a knock at my door.
I jump to my feet, excited. Maybe Mathiras has come to apologize. He’s sought me out. I smooth my hair and move toward the door and then push the release.
It slides back into the wall, revealing Adiron instead. Oh. “Hey,” I manage. “Jade settled?”
His eyes are tormented. “I hate leaving her behind. Hate it. She says it’s for the best, and that Matty needs me, but…kef.” He rubs his jaw. “I’m ready for all this shit to settle down so I can have her at my side again. I miss her already.”
“I know,” I say, and hold my arms out, offering him a hug.
Adiron gives me an affectionate squeeze. “You look about as thrilled as me. I thought you were excited you’d get to have Mathiras all to yourself for a change?”
I sigh, casting him a woeful look. “He called me a ‘kid.’”
“Ouch.”
“Exactly.” I scowl. “He wasn’t like this on the station.”
“No? What was he like?” Adiron plucks the pillow out of my grip and lightly swats me with it. “He ever stick a finger in your ear?”
A finger in my ear?! “No, of course not. He was very kind and sweet. We had all of our meals together and slept together, too—what?” I blink as Adiron goes still, his eyes wide.
He rubs his ear and then shakes his head. “I’m sorry, did you say you slept with Matty?”
Is that bad? “We slept in the same bed, yes. I don’t like sleeping alone. He let me share his blankets, too. It was really cold on the station. And scary.” I take the pillow back from him and smack him with it. “Am I not supposed to sleep with him? Is that a bad custom? Is that why he doesn’t want to do it now? I always slept with Ruth back on the Star. I don’t like having an empty bed.”
Adiron just blinks at me. Blink blink blink. After a moment, he gives himself a little shake. “Nah, I get it. It’s scary, right? Being in a new place without your friends?” When I nod, he gives my shoulder a comforting pat. “You know what you should do? You should ignore Matty when he’s being a jerk.”