Wrapping his arm around Rayne’s narrow shoulders, Eno drew him closer and silenced his protests with a trembling kiss. He needed a second to pull himself together. The shock was still working through his body, but the feel of Rayne against him, to know he was fighting with every ounce of his being helped to soothe his wounded soul more than Rayne’s healing gift ever could. Rayne would give everything to heal Eno to his former self. Rayne would die to make Eno whole again, and he didn’t want that.
“No, baby. No,” Eno whispered into Rayne’s mouth.
“But—”
“No. I mean it.” He pulled back so that he could stare into Rayne’s eyes. At some point, Rayne had taken off his glasses, allowing Eno to clearly see pale, jade-green eyes. He loved these eyes so much. A day couldn’t pass without him seeing these eyes.
Calm sank into him as he was wrapped in that lovely shade of green. It really was the only thing that mattered. They would find a way. His too-wise king had already been thinking of ways to keep him close to Rayne, because Rayne was the one thing he needed. He enjoyed being Caelan’s bodyguard, but he loved Rayne Laurent.
“What can I do? Anything. Name it.” As he spoke, Rayne reached up and wiped the tears from Eno’s cheeks.
“Two things.”
“Of course.”
Eno paused and fought to harden his gaze on Rayne, not allowing the man to shrink or hide from him, because this was likely to be the hardest part for Rayne. “One, you can’t blame yourself for my arm,” he began.
Naturally, Rayne tried to argue. “But—”
“No.” Eno immediately cut him off. Excuses would not be accepted. They would have no hope of a tomorrow if Rayne continued another second under the burden of guilt that was trying to crush him. “You weren’t the one who attacked me. You’re the one who saved me. Say it. Say the words right now.”
“I saved you.” Rayne’s voice wobbled, and a tear slipped down his cheek.
“You saved my life. Not Caelan or Drayce. You did. My baby saved my life.” Eno’s voice caught, but it was worth it to see the first tiny hint of a smile on Rayne’s lips. Just saying the words made him feel lighter. “I could feel you, hear you fighting for me even when I couldn’t open my eyes. I was so tired and hurt so much, but you wouldn’t let me go. You kept fighting for me.”
Rayne leaned in and brushed away another tear with his lips, his touch so featherlight and warm. “I’ll always fight for you. I love you, Eno. So very much.”
“That’s the other thing. Can you still love me if I can’t wield a sword? If I can’t protect you as I should?” The words were nearly lost in a shattered sob. Rayne turned fully against him, his arms wrapping tightly around his neck as he pressed as close as he possibly could.
Eno pressed his face into Rayne’s shoulder and let the tears fall. He’d always had a plan for his life. The only thing he’d ever wanted was to be a Royal Guard, to be worthy enough to be counted among those who would protect the royal family of Erya and the Godstone. To have achieved it and then lost it…
There was an empty cavern inside of Eno’s chest trying to swallow him, heart and soul. What was left for him? Who was he?
I saved you. I saved you.
Rayne’s words now echoed in the hollowness within him.
His tears stopped and he could hear Rayne’s rough, whispered words at last as he pressed kiss after kiss to his cheek and neck.
“I saved you. You’re mine. I’m never letting you go. I will never stop loving you. No matter what happens, I will always love you.”
Eno closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, letting his lover’s vow sink into the shreds of his soul. He was no fool. It was going to take a long time to heal from this blow, but Rayne’s love was going to make the healing possible.
“I love you, Lord Rayne Laurent. You are my everything.”
The king’s advisor lifted so that he could meet Eno’s stare. His expression was the same cold serious look he gave to Caelan more than once when he was a mix of pissed and determined. “I love you, Eno. You are more than your sword, and I will prove it to you if it takes the rest of my life.”
A weak laugh jumped from his throat, and he pushed Rayne back down onto his chest. “I believe you.” If anyone could do that, it was Rayne.
They lay together in silence for a couple of minutes. Eno ran through a mental checklist of his body. He wasn’t in pain, certainly not the kind of pain he should be in. Muscles were sore and there was a tissue-deep ache in his right arm, but nothing too terrible. It was mostly fatigue that gnawed at his bones and left his emotions running unchecked.