She was dangerous. Deadly.
A threat to his own personal code in ways that he should have seen from the beginning.
Because she had been eroding the foundation that he had built from the beginning. Just a touch. A kiss. And then he had stormed into his brother’s office to tell him that Matteo could not marry her. To tell him that he could not see through the plan that he had to make their country better, because Javier had wanted Violet for himself. He had never wanted to let her go. He would have gone after her. That much he knew.
But his brother had given him options that he had liked, and so he had taken them. Made it easy to keep on going down that slippery slope.
So he had done.
And now... Now he was sitting here in the consequences of it. She loved him. He could not give her that love in return.
He had broken not only his own sacred vows, but in the end he would break her too. And that was unacceptable.
But he had married her. And that was done. Consummated. Presented before the entire world.
But they did not have to live together as man and wife. He could give her the freedom that she had wanted. But he c
ould not give her this.
“Love is not to be,” he said. “Not for me.”
“I know that you don’t trust it,” she said. “And I understand why. But you have to understand that what I feel for you has nothing to do with the way you were manipulated into caring for your father.”
“Was I manipulated? Or did I simply want to accept the easiest thing. The easiest reality.”
“Do you think that I’m going to trick you into doing something wrong? Do you think that I’m secretly here to destroy your country?”
“No,” he growled. “No,” he said again. “It’s not that. It has nothing to do with that. But a man cannot serve two masters. And my master must be my people. It must be my country. It must be to duty, and to honor. That is where I must pledge my allegiance, and I cannot be split between a wife and a nation.”
“Then make me part of your people. Make me one of those that you have a responsibility to. Surely that can’t be so difficult.”
Except that he knew it would destroy her. It was not what she wanted. It was not what she deserved. And without it she truly would be in captivity for all of his life. And he would be her jailer. And so he was trapped. Between violating all that he needed to be for his country and destroying the life of the woman who had married him.
He reached over to her and unclasped the first bracelet from her wrist. He unwound the chain that she had wrapped there, and then unclipped the second bracelet.
Her eyes filled with tears as she stared at him, but he knew that it would be a kindness. It was a kindness whether she saw it that way or not.
“What are you doing?”
“You are not my prisoner,” he said. “And I will not make you a prisoner.”
“Now you say this? Now, after we’ve been married? After I told you that I love you? That’s when you decide to give me freedom?”
“We must remain married,” he said. “That much is obvious. My brother would take a dim view on there being a divorce so quickly. It would cause scandal. And... I do not wish to undo all that you have done for my country. But you may go back to California. To your life. There is no reason that you must stay here. You do not need to be under my thumb.”
“What if I choose to stay?”
“What you choose is up to you. But that will not alter my behavior. That will not change the fact that this place is my priority. That it is where my duty lies.”
“I love you,” she said.
She got out of bed, standing there, naked and radiant in the center of the room. “I love you, and you can’t make it so that I don’t. I love you,” she said, like a spell, like an incantation, like she was trying to cast it over him, like she was trying to change the very fabric of what he was. Destroy him, then remake him using those words to stitch him back together.
As if she might be able to use them to take the beast and turn him back into a man.
“And I cannot love,” he said. “It is that simple.”
“You can,” she said. “You can. But you’re not a beast to protect the world from you, you have to be a beast to protect yourself from the world. You’re afraid, Javier. You’re afraid of being hurt again, and I understand that.”