“Me too,” she whispered. “But we are out doing our duty. And isn’t that the entire point of this marriage?”
The question felt like it was balanced on the edge of a knife. And her right along with it.
“It is,” he said, taking his hand away from the flower.
“Right. Well. I think I found the flowers that I want.”
She spoke to the shop owner, placing her order. And then the two of them carried on.
“I think we ought to have ice cream for the wedding,” she said, standing outside the store. She was searching for something. For that connection with him that they’d had earlier. That they’d had back when it was forbidden.
“I don’t want any,” he said.
“I... Well. I mean, we can order some for the wedding.”
“I think you can handle that on your own,” he said.
Her heart faltered for a beat. It felt too close to a metaphor for all that they were right now. She could also love him alone. She was doing it. But it hurt, and she didn’t know if she was ever going to be able to close this gap between them.
“Of course,” she responded. “I... I’ll go and order it.”
She did. Then she ordered an ice-cream cone for herself and ignored the pain in her chest. She ignored it all the way through the rest of the shopping, and when they arrived back at the palace and he did not continue where they had left off in his office.
And she tried not to wonder if she had chosen wrong.
She had to cling to the story.
Because eventually the beast would be transformed by love.
The problem was that her beast seemed particularly resistant to it.
And she wasn’t entirely sure she understood why.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THE DAY OF the wedding dawned bright and clear. Violet was determined to be optimistic.
It has been a difficult few days. Javier’s moods had been unpredictable. Some days he had been attentive, and others, she hadn’t seen him at all.
He hadn’t made love to her since the day he had given her the jewels.
They hadn’t even come close since the day in his office, where they had been thwarted by her schedule. Something she bitterly resented now.
This distance made her feel brittle. Made her feelings hard and spiky, cutting her like glass each time her heart beat.
What would it mean to be with him like this, if it were this way forever?
When she’d imagined marriage to him, she’d imagined more nights like the ones they’d shared in bed together. With passion ruling, not duty.
But if their marriage would be like this...
She didn’t know if she’d survive it.
She had bought a beautiful dress, a beautiful dress to be the most suitable bride she could be. What else could she do?
She knew that she couldn’t wear the cuffs the way that she had done the day he had given them to her. But she did put two of them on one wrist and attached the gold chain, wrapping it artfully between the cuffs to make it look like an edgy piece of jewelry, rather than an intentional statement of bondage.
The day was made better and easier by the fact that her family was present. Minerva would be Violet’s only bridesmaid.