She simply had to be.
All feeling. No calculation. No striving. Just bright, brilliant pleasure, crackling through her like fireworks.
And she was back again, poised on that wire, with the endless sea of nothing and brilliance shining beneath her. She was afraid. Because she didn’t know what might happen next. But he was holding her, moving inside of her, over her, in her. And all she could do was cling to him. All she could do was trust in him, in a way that she had never trusted in another person.
But that’s what this was. That’s what it really was.
The giving of trust, sharing it. Because as vulnerable as she was in this moment, he was too. Because as much as she had to trust him to hold her in his arms, she was holding him as well.
And even as she felt so feminine, vulnerable a
nd small, she had also never felt quite so equal. Quite so happy in those differences.
But then, she couldn’t hold on, not any longer. He thrust inside of her one last time, and she was cast into the deep. And what she found there was an endless world of pleasure that she hadn’t known existed. So deep and real and intense.
He followed her there. His roar of pleasure reverberating inside of her.
And all the stars around her were made of brilliance and fire. And when she opened her eyes, she realized that the flames were right there. In the fireplace. And she was still in the library.
And Javier was still with her.
She could feel his heart beating just like hers. A little bit too fast. A little bit too hard.
She wanted to cling to him. But he was already moving away.
“This cannot be endured,” he growled.
He pushed his fingers through his dark hair, curving his muscular shoulders forward. And even as she realized that the bliss, the connection they had just shared was over, she couldn’t help but admire his golden physique, illuminated in the firelight.
“I didn’t mind it,” she said quietly.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“You were a virgin.”
“Oh. That. Well, if it helps, I didn’t really plan to be.”
“You realize that makes this worse.”
“How?”
“Because I have... I have spoiled you.”
“I thought you said that was a promise,” she said quietly. “A vow, if I didn’t mistake you. That you would ruin me for other men.”
“That is not what I mean now,” he said, his tone feral. He stood up, and she went dry mouthed at the sight of his naked body.
“No. What do you mean? Perhaps I need clarification?”
“If you were a virgin, then it was meant for him.”
“It was meant for who I gave it to.”
“Did you give it to me? Or did you fling it away knowing what you were doing.”
“No.” She winced internally, not because she’d been thinking of her virginity, but she had considered the fact that this would make the marriage to Matteo difficult. But in the end, it wasn’t why she had done it. “We don’t all live in the Dark Ages, Javier, and you know that. I don’t come from this world. Who I decide to sleep with is my choice and my business, and it is not a medieval bargaining tool, however my father treated me and my body. I do not owe you an explanation.”