January was disappointed, and when Deckard looked down and saw her frown, she explained how the movie was different from what she remembered.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
“It’s not your fault. I only have myself to blame.”
January couldn’t focus through the rest of the movie, but noticed how Deckard seemed to enjoy the classic action flick. The light from the television illuminated his face in the darkened room. She could imagine her brother, father, and Deckard lounged on her parents’ large sectional couch completely lost in the movie, but in a calm camaraderie. In her vision, Deckard fit in perfectly with her family.
Thumping echoed in her ears as her heart pounded. She knew without a doubt that Deckard had stolen her heart.
She realized that he was indulging her by agreeing to relieve the Christmas traditions that she used to despise, but she couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps it was because he felt the same way about her.
Her eyes were drawn to the white glow of his profile; the strong jaw, straight nose, kind eyes – he was the whole package. And she felt it down to her soul that he was meant to be hers, but timing stood in their way.
“Deckard,” she whispered, and he pulled his attention away from the movie to gaze down at her.
“Yeah, sweetheart?”
She took a deep breath, she was about to bare herself to him in a way she had never done before. “Deckard, I -”
BANG!
A gun shootout on the screen drew their attention back to the movie, her confession left hanging in the air. Her moment had been sidelined and she took it as a sign.
They watched the rest of the movie, even January was intrigued by the plot of the film she had never given much of a chance before.
But as they laid in bed, Deckard’s chest pressed against January’s body, he asked, “Hey, what were you going to say earlier?”
This was her chance to confess that she had fallen in love with him, but unlike earlier, her confidence had disappeared.
She turned over to face him and hi
s arm automatically wrapped around her.
“Oh, it was nothing,” she lied. “I was going to ask you something about tomorrow’s dinner, but I can’t remember anymore.”
His eyes flicked back and forth as he searched hers. January worried that he would call her on her bluff and then she’d be forced to admit how she was feeling. But she didn’t want him to give up the opportunities awaiting him back home. So, unless she was forced to admit her feelings, she was going to keep her mouth shut.
Luck was on her side as Deckard leaned forward and captured her mouth in a kiss before he settled her against him for the night. She felt his breaths even out and the rhythm of his pulse slowed when sleep overtook him. But January spent another torturous night awake, silently wishing that she could fix everything.
Chapter Nine
At work, January tried not to think about all of the prep work that she had waiting for her at home for tonight’s dinner. It wasn’t just the ham that she had sitting in her fridge ready to go in the oven for three hours, or the handful of side dishes she had to prepare in the three hours the ham was cooking, but it was the cleaning and tidying that was waiting for her. January tried her best to keep a tidy home since it was just her in the two-bedroom bungalow, but she wanted to impress her siblings and their families.
They were telling everyone that she wanted to make up for missing the solstice celebrations with him, but Deckard and her parents knew the truth. This was going to be the last Christmas Eve dinner she’d get to have, and she wanted to make it special.
Thank goodness she had already requested to work a half-day before the newspaper decided on cutbacks. Otherwise, January wasn’t sure if she would have been able to get any of the items on her checklist completed.
The article she had been working one was drafted in the morning and sent over to the copy editor. Co-workers stopped by her office with sullen expressions, everyone afraid that they may lose their jobs in the new year, but January tried to keep focused on the night’s event instead.
She had to make an unscheduled pit stop at the general store for some tablecloths to grace the buffet table she pulled out of her basement. Regret filled her for all the times she ignored the kitschy shop and opted to order online or go to the larger big box store a few towns over. January had come to love Nick’s Knacks with its vast array of items and Deckard’s grandparents that always welcomed her with a warm smile.
The bell above the door chimed as she walked inside, her eyes searched for Deckard automatically. With his height and dark hair, he was easy to spot above the shelves. January knew he was working, and she didn’t want to distract him, so she went in the opposite direction toward the housewares to grab the white tablecloth she needed. A few candles caught her attention with their red and silver swirls, and January added those to her pile as well.
Stepping from the aisle, she made her way to where she had seen Deckard earlier and found him adding some flashlights to the shelves.
“Hey.”
He flipped his head in her direction in surprise and smiled widely when he saw her standing there. She walked right up to him, lifted her free hand to his cheek, and kissed his bottom lip. She loved that he quickly responded to her by kissing her in return. They had a magnetism that she couldn’t explain, or ever wanted to.