She couldn’t let this happen again! She wouldn’t! With all the strength she could muster, she tried to push him away. “Hayden, please...don’t...”
Every muscle in his body grew rigid. Slowly he drew his head away from hers and stared into her eyes. What he saw in her gaze, she could only guess, but slowly he released her. “I...” He shoved the hair from his eyes and swore beneath his breath. “Hell, Nadine, I didn’t mean to come on like a Neanderthal. But it seems I can’t do anything else when I’m around you.” He shook his head, disgusted with himself.
“What—what did you mean?” Good Lord, she could barely breathe and her voice sounded so weak and feminine she actually cringed.
A self-deprecating smile touched the corner of his mouth. “Just that I’ve missed you.”
Sweet Lord, now what?
“I left here angry, said things I didn’t mean and here I am trying to apologize.” Swearing under his breath, he rolled his eyes. “I’m not very good at it.”
“Not much practice, I suspect.”
“You make me crazy, you know.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “I’ve missed you, too,” she admitted, though she wanted to lie and tell him that she hadn’t lost a moment’s sleep over him, that she hadn’t tossed and turned every night replaying their lovemaking over and over in her mind, that she didn’t sometimes fantasize about loving him and becoming his wife and... Oh, God! Drawing herself up short, she shook her head. “This could never work, Hayden.”
“You don’t know that.”
“We’ve already had this conversation, remember?” she said, though she wanted nothing more than to drag him into the house with her and throw herself into his arms. She trembled inside but held her ground.
“I just think we should start over. Take one step at a time.”
Oh, God, why was he torturing her? “Why?”
“Why?” he repeated, glancing up at the dark sky, as if searching for the reasons. “Because I’ve gone slowly and steadily out of my mind without you. Because the house seems like a damned morgue without you there. Because...because I’ve missed you.” His gaze settled on hers again, and there was honesty and desperation in his blue eyes.
Inside, she was melting. “I still don’t want an affair.”
“I’m not asking for one.”
“Then what do you want?”
The question hung in the cool air between them, and she waited with her heart in her throat. “What I want is to get to know you, Nadine.”
“You may not like me.”
One side of his mouth lifted slightly. “I don’t think there’s much chance of that. Anyway, I’m willing to gamble.”
“Damn it all, Hayden, why don’t you just go away?” she said, her voice catching. “Leave me alone. Let my life go on as it was.”
“I can’t,” he admitted, and he kissed her again. This time his lips were tender, his tongue undemanding. She sagged against him and realized with a sense of mounting dread that for the rest of her life she’d never be able to say no to Hayden Monroe.
Chapter Ten
HAYDEN HAD TROUBLE living up to his promise. Nadine had always exuded an earthiness that he found irresistibly sexy. Her jeans were snug, but not obscene, and yet he couldn’t take his eyes off the sway of her rump as she walked. Her mahogany-red hair glinted with gold in the firelight, and her green eyes appeared large and dark above sculpted cheekbones. She served him coffee, then set about finishing work on some glittery jacket she was making for a woman he didn’t know.
He settled in on the lumpy antique couch, propping one heel on the arm and watching her work as he sipped the coffee. “Decaf,” she’d told him as she’d handed him a wide glazed mug. As if he cared. He wasn’t here for the coffee.
She explained about trying to launch her career as a designer of exotic art and clothes or some damned thing—that she’d taken courses at the local junior college in color and art and fabric design, along with more traditional subjects of math and accounting and business law. She wasn’t going to clean houses forever. When she finished the jacket, she held it up for his inspection.
“I’m not much of an authority on rodeo wear,” he said dryly, and her eyes sparkled with merriment as she sashayed closer, the jacket swinging in front of her.
“Oh, sure. I just bet you want one for yourself.”
“Right.” A sarcastic smile touched his lips.
“Maybe for Christmas, hmm?” she teased. Her cheeks were rosy, her lips pulled into a thoughtful grin. “Black denim with gold rhinestones. Kind of an Elvis look with—”