‘I won’t.’
‘Promise?’
‘Yes.’
The online pile-on had been horrific and the face-to-face vitriol? Even from people she’d thought were friends. People she’d thought would have her back and believe her. It had made her so wary of other people now. Because it was still there—online, as fresh as the day it had been posted. It would be there for ever.
‘I turned my own father and my own brother in, but other people didn’t believe that I didn’t know. They all doubted me. And my father was so angry when he’d found out I’d gone to the police. He tried to smash my mandolin. That’s why the case is broken. He didn’t know I’d taken the instrument out and that was only by chance. That’s the only reason it survived.’
He’d tried to destroy the last thing she had of her mother’s. The thing most precious to her. All in a vitriolic rage.
‘We’d never had much money and suddenly people were giving buckets of it. Dad was so greedy. He thought it was a way of getting more without having to work for it. By lying to people.’
‘He lied to you too.’
Yeah. He’d monetised what should have been a bittersweet, heart-rending but precious memory. Put it out there for people to judge and mock.
‘It didn’t matter that I’d been honest. Everyone had judged me anyway. Sometimes I think it would have been easier to say nothing.’
‘Doing the right thing takes courage.’
‘Was it the right thing though? Was it worth all that upheaval? It didn’t make anything better. It didn’t mean those people were repaid.’ She was mortified that they’d lost money.
‘But they saw that justice was done. That matters. We need to see that. We need to know there are good people in the world.’ Felipe regarded her solemnly. ‘But you always worry how they’ll react if, when, they find out?’
‘No one likes a nark, right?’ She glanced at him. ‘No one believes that I couldn’t have known sooner. How could I not have known? I even made things to auction for the fundraiser. I was so stupid.’
‘Not stupid. Sweet and sincere. And you are not responsible for the choices your father and brother made.’
‘Family sticks together. Family doesn’t rat each other out. They disowned me completely,’ she said. ‘My father’s family won’t forgive me.’
‘There’s nothing to forgive, Elsie. You did the right thing. You shouldn’t be paying for their mistakes.’
But she was. ‘My mother was an only child so there’s no one there. And all my old friends didn’t just doubt me, they didn’t believe me. I don’t belong to anyone or to any place. Not any more.’
‘So now you’re alone and now you don’t trust anyone.’ He swept his hand through her hair. ‘I won’t let you down.’
‘There’s no time for that to happen.’ She tried to smile but found she couldn’t.
His arm around her waist tightened. ‘There’s nothing wrong with wanting touch and connection. You shouldn’t ever feel as if you shouldn’t have that.’ He sighed. ‘And you should have so much more than this.’
‘I’m scared I’d want too much,’ she whispered harshly. ‘If I let it go, let it consume me? I could be the most jealous witch.’ She already was. ‘That’s what scares me—being as selfish and as greedy as them.’
‘You wouldn’t. That fear is from the threat of losing it, right? That it was going to be taken away from you. Another time, another place, another...’ He whistled in a raspy breath. ‘You’ll find the security that you deserve. You’re nothing like your father Elsie. You’re not dishonest. You’re not a cheat. You didn’t. And you wouldn’t ever. You need to forgive yourself. You did nothing wrong. They let you down and they shouldn’t have. But you shouldn’t suffer any punishment. You should have a home and a job and a family—whatever you want, with someone you want. You should have it all.’
But not with him. With some other guy some other time. And that thought? No.
She was exposed and she needed—escape. She appreciated Felipe’s sentiment. She didn’t even regret telling him about her family, but she slid from the bed, taking the top sheet with her. Because she couldn’t stay in his arms telling him all her secrets. Soon she’d be begging him never to let her go. This wasn’t that and never would be.
‘Where are you going?’ he asked.
‘I’m annoyed with you.’
He sat up, startled. ‘Why?’
‘You should have it all too.’ She shot him a look. ‘You think that’s possible for me, but not for yourself.’
His jaw compressed. ‘I’m not in the same position as most people, Elsie. Not even most other royals. There’s only me.’