He shifted and leaned back against the headboard. ‘Because carrying a heavy burden is hard. It’s lonely sometimes.’
The throb in his voice she recognised; they were two lonely, isolated people.
‘Maybe sharing it might lighten it,’ he muttered. ‘Even for a little while.’
Her heart ached. ‘As if you ever do that?’
A glimmer of an acknowledgement as he smiled. ‘Then let’s trade.’
She turned to him. ‘You’re going to trust me with one of your secrets?’
‘You know I trust you.’ He wrapped his arms around her and drew her back to rest against his chest.
‘Even though you didn’t read that security check on me?’ she asked, stupidly saddened by that realisation. ‘Grab your phone. Do it now. You hardly need detective skills—it’s all there in a simple search. Type in my name and it pops up like it happened yesterday. It’s never going to go away.’
‘I’m not going to do that. I’d rather you told me,’ he said huskily. ‘Start small. Tell me one little thing.’
She laughed. ‘You’re never going to stop at wanting just one.’
He brushed his hand through her hair. ‘One thing and I’ll give you a kiss.’
She leaned into the touch. ‘Are you seducing me into giving up my secrets?’
‘Absolutely.’ He kissed the base of her neck.
She pulled back and shot him a look. ‘One secret. One orgasm.’
‘There’s my Elsie, raising the bar. Not afraid to challenge me.’ A serious glint entered his eye. ‘So why didn’t you do that the morning you lost your job?’
Elsie stiffened but Felipe tightened his grip on her ever so slightly and pressed.
‘Why didn’t you march back to the palace and demand to see me? I know you liked it here. I know you were genuinely fond of Amalia. Why didn’t you come and tell me and my interfering security team where to go?’
‘Because of you.’ All that low-burning shame bubbled up. ‘I had to leave because of you.’
‘Because I—’
‘Belonged to someone else.’ That possessive fire in her belly had raged so intensely it had been scary.
It was so unlike her. She wasn’t possessive and she certainly had no right to be possessive of him. Yet there it was. An emotion so strong that she couldn’t ignore it—not then, not now. But she’d given him so much already tonight, and he had treated it—her—with infinite care. Which suddenly made it too easy to confess everything.
‘If I’d stayed, I would’ve behaved badly and I wouldn’t have cared,’ she admitted rawly. Her desire for him made her want to do something wrong and she never wanted to become that person. ‘I would have cheated. I would have hurt someone else. I never wanted to be that person. I always promised I’d never be like—’ She broke off and breathed out. ‘But the temptation of you?’
He’d made her want to be everything she’d fought hard not to be. Meeting him had unleashed the part within her that didn’t give a damn—that was selfish and hungry and uncaring of anything other than getting what she wanted. Like her father and her brother. People who took what they wanted without any scruples.
‘So you left without saying goodbye, without fighting. Because you would’ve become my lover even though you thought I was engaged to someone else?’ His chest rose and fell rapidly.
She closed her eyes, mortified. It was a truth she’d not admitted even to herself until now. ‘I didn’t even know if you wanted—’
‘You know I did.’ A husky breath. ‘I wanted you desperately but I couldn’t, and not because of that damned betrothal. But because of the risk to you. I come with a whole country. Paparazzi and a life so public you can never reclaim your privacy. My mother. Amalia’s mother. It was terrible for them both. I don’t want that for anyone and certainly not you.’ He sighed. ‘But this now? You deserve so much more than a few hours...’
‘I don’t. I really don’t.’
‘Why do you say that? What happened that was so awful?’ He watched her for a moment before asking carefully. ‘Can you tell me what’s on the video?’
She looked at the suppressed concern in his eyes and realised she had to put him at ease. ‘It’s not...it’s not any kind of sex tape and I wasn’t physically hurt or anything... It was a personal moment but not that kind of personal.’
He released a long, careful breath.