ChapterFive
Mara
I so don’t want this night to end, but I’ve been here for four hours now. I can’t recall the last time I had this much fun. Since the incident at the bakery, I built River into something he isn’t. I think my hope was if I remembered him as horribly as I could, then maybe the crush I had on him when I was younger would die out. It hasn’t.
Tonight I got to see that some of the sweet boy I met all those years ago at my older sister’s wedding is still there. I remember him asking me if I wanted him to carry my flowers because they looked heavy. They were heavy because my mom—being my mom—went way overboard with all the bouquets. My shyness won out that day, and I don’t think I ever answered him.
“Can we take the stairs?” I ask when we exit his place. He insisted on walking me back to mine even though I’m only two floors down.
“Of course.” His hand goes to my back. “Elevators bother you?” he asks, and I nod. “You did okay earlier.”
“I was distracted.” He smirks, and I playfully elbow him in the side. “Don’t let that go to your head.”
“I won’t. Besides, me distracting you looks to have worn off if you’re back to the stairs.” I shake my head.
“It's more that I’m still surprised by it so it’s fresh in my mind.”
“Are you claustrophobic or is it because of your anxiety?”
“Anxiety. My mind always goes to worst-case scenarios and starts going wild with ideas. The longer the elevator takes to even open and I have to stand there waiting, the more it creates.”
“Damn, I’m sorry that’s something you have to deal with every day. It must be really hard.” River really is not what I thought.
“Yeah, I wonder if that’s why my mom won’t let me get married,” I say absently. River’s fingers flex against my back. Why did I say that out loud? “I also have a problem saying things that come into my head.” I let out a sigh.
“You didn’t want me to hear that?”
“I mean, it’s kind of embarrassing. My sister got married right away. My mom and dad would have let her go to college if she asked, but they said college is a must for me. Probably because I’m awkward. They might think I’ll get better socially at college.”
“I think you’re letting your mind go to the worst-case scenario.”
“I…” I pause. “Why didn’t I think of that?” I finally say. “I was sure no one asked or something.”
“Were you hoping someone did?” Heat creeps up my chest. Crap, I’m going to blush.
“I don’t know.” I shrug.
“You do know.” We come to a stop at my door. Damn, how did we get here so fast?
This conversation is a bit awkward and something I don’t want to think about because once upon a time, I wondered if River might ask. Then everything went to hell between our families. But even with all that, I still don't want this to end so soon. Tonight was fun, but I’m sure it was more of a chance to get to know each other so it’s not weird between us from here on out. We can stop, or I can stop actively trying to avoid running into him.
“Mara.” His tone is filled with a warning, but he’s smiling. “I’ll stand here all night till you tell me.”
“At one time, yes. Amelia and I would always talk about how our weddings would be and how many kids we wanted and how we wanted to all live close. My parents really made the whole arranged marriage tradition look fairytale perfect. I mean, look at them. My dad thinks my mom hung the moon. I could of course think maybe they got lucky, but now it seems my siblings have it too. I mean, Cillian has come back to life because of Glenda. He smiles now.” I can’t help but smile right now thinking about it.
River stiffens when I say Cillian’s name. “Your parents do seem really happy,” he says. I don’t know if he’s trying not to comment on Cillian or if I’m once again making things up in my head.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything you want.”
“How did you know about my anxiety? Was it that noticeable today?”
“My brother told me.”
“Oh.” I shift on my feet. Does Felipe just go around and tell my business? That doesn’t sound like him, but they are brothers, and I share a lot with Amelia.
He grabs my hand. “He might have said something because I might have been poking around about you.” My stomach does a little dip, reminding me of the time my dad got me onto a rollercoaster. It wasn’t a giant one, but that was the feeling. Only this one is better.
“Really? Why?”
“You have to ask why after what I told you hours ago when we were standing right here?” He steps in closer, and once again, my back is pressed against my door. Heat pools between my legs the same way it did when he did it last time. There’s something about him closing in on me that turns me on. It’s like he knows I spook easily so he’s got to corner me. “Or did you get into your head about that?”
Maybe. I keep wondering if this is just playful flirting that doesn’t mean more than what it is. Not that anyone has done that to me, but still.
“Don’t boys get them like all the time?” I ask.
“Do you get wet all the time?”
“River!” I gasp, but he leans his head closer.
“Do you?”
“No, not all the time.” My words come out all breathy and not sounding like myself.