CHAPTER EIGHT
Bryce
We biked back to my place. I was concerned for Emily. It was hard to get a read on her after that. I felt regret myself. Evan had managed to get Julie to safety. I wish I could have done the same with Emily. But I didn’t have any adults who would have helped. My parents were more unstable than Emily’s and I didn’t have a supportive aunt who would be willing to take her in. So she had been stuck there.
We got back to my place, and we went inside. Emily pulled me into a hug as soon as we were inside the door. I held her close to me. “Are you okay?” I asked. I had to stop myself before I called her little one, which was what I usually called my Littles. I had to remember she wasn’t mine. She would never be mine.
She nodded slightly. “I don’t know how to feel,” she said. “I’m still processing all of it. Can you just hug me for a while?” Her voice became small as if she really was a little.
“Of course,” I said.
I held her gently while rubbing her back. After a few minutes, she started to cry so I just held her tighter. I wished I could do more to comfort her and take the pain away, but this was unfortunately the best I could do.
After several long minutes, she became quiet and stopped. Then she looked up at me with a tear-stained face. “I don’t know what I’m going to say to Julie when I find her,” she said. “After all this time, I think I thought of every scenario about what happened to her except for the possibility that she’s alive and well.” She smiled softly. “At least I hope she’s well.”
“She will be,” I said. “And now that you know where she is and you have the aunt’s contact information, you’ll be able to find her. You can leave Newbury and you won’t ever have to come back here.” I tried to sound casual, but it was hard. My heart was breaking at the thought of her leaving even though I knew it was the only way.
She looked up at me with a furrowed brow. “Do you want me to leave?” she asked.
I was surprised she could even ask such a thing. I reached up to cup her face. “All that matters to me is your happiness,” I said. “That’s always been the case. And you’re not happy here.”
Emily smirked. “Way to dance around the question. Do you want me to go?”
I sighed. “I want you to be happy. You swore never to come back to Newbury.”
“I know. But that was when you weren’t here. Besides, Newbury’s changed a lot since I’ve been here.”
“You deserve better than this place,” I said. “Besides, you’ve built a life for yourself elsewhere.”
She bit her lip. “Does that mean you weren’t about to kiss me earlier?”
I stayed silent, knowing she knew the truth. “It was a slip in judgment.”
“But you do like me that way, don’t you?”
“Of course I do, Emily. I always have. You know that–”
She cut me off by pressing her lips against mine. Instinct took over before I could think better of it and I wrapped my hands around her waist and held her close as our mouths melded together. I licked her bottom lip and she opened up her mouth for me. I explored her mouth with my tongue, and she moaned softly. Fuck, she felt so good.
“Are you sure?” I whispered against her lips. “You know my type. Are you sure you want that?”
“I want you… Daddy.”
All thoughts fled my brain when she said that. It was like all of my craziest fantasies came true by some miracle. I groaned and held her tight against me as I kissed her. It took all of my restraint not to undress her in the middle of my living room and take her right there.
I had to make sure I was gentle and went at her pace. I couldn’t scare her.
I picked Emily up and carried her to my bedroom. Gently, I placed her on the bed. “You’re so beautiful, little one,” I said as I got on top of her. I kissed her gently as her arms circled my waist. Somehow, I found it in myself to roll over to the side. “Let’s cuddle for a while,” I said as I stroked her hair.
She looked up at me, surprised. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. “You’ve had a really long and hard day. No one would be thinking straight after going through what you did today. And I need to make sure you’re absolutely positive before I take you.” I wasn’t going to take advantage of her. If I was going to keep her safe, that also meant safe from me.
“I’ve wanted you for so long,” she confessed. She bit her lip. “If I’m honest, I’ve fantasized about you being my Daddy a lot over the years.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Really?” Why would she possibly want me as her Daddy? I was just a troublemaker. Sure, I protected her a little, but I couldn’t even protect her from the real threat– her parents.
“When I ran away, I was so scared. I just knew I couldn’t spend another minute in that house, and I didn’t think it through. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret it. Even in youth shelters, I felt free and more relaxed. But I knew it was dangerous. I didn’t feel safe. And late at night, I would think of you. I would think about how it would feel to be your Little. I’ve always wanted to be yours.”