I giggle then.
“Ha! Good to know. In all seriousness though, I’m glad my employer is being so flexible with my leave because they could be real assholes about it, but they aren’t.”
Christine nods.
“Yeah, it seems Children’s Protective Services should be understanding because their business is kids. Good for you.”
I nod.
“The problem is that they’re giving me leave, but some of it is unpaid. That’s the bad part of government service. They just don’t have that big of a budget, so some of my time has to be unpaid.”
Christine nods.
“Yeah, but isn’t the baby’s dad helping? Financially, and in person? I mean, I didn’t love your ex, but he was a lawyer right? So he’s being responsible?”
I close my eyes for a second as my cheeks go pink with embarrassment. But then I take a deep breath because it’s time to come clean. I can’t hide it anymore, and I don’t want to either.
“Actually, Ricky’s not the dad,” I admit. Christine looks puzzled.
“He’s not?” she asks. “I just always thought—"
“He’s not,” I confirm once more. Then I take another deep breath. “Actually, the baby’s father is a one-night stand. He’s just a guy I met at a friend’s birthday party who was stupid hot and sexy and yes, before you ask, there were many shots of tequila involved.”
“Oh,” is all Christine says, looking surprised. “Well, does he know? About the baby, I mean?”
I nod.
“Yes, he knows, but here’s the kicker – the baby’s dad isn’t even American. He’s from Germany and he was just visiting some friends for a week. And now, he’s back in Berlin.”
There’s an astonished silence.
“Wow. Well, what happens now?” Christine asks in a stupefied voice. “Is he going to come out and attend Lamaze classes with you? He’ll at least be present for the birth, right?”
I shake my head slowly.
“No, actually Axel wants nothing to do with me or the baby. He didn’t even want me to keep it.”
My friend’s face crumples.
“Oh Hannah, that’s horrible,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry.”
I shrug, having already re-lived these facts over and over in my head for the past several months.
“No, it’s okay, and honestly, I think it’s for the best. I mean, what if he wanted to try and take the kid with him back to Germany? At least I don’t have to face that. And I know exactly where I stand with child support because it’s at a big fat egg. Zero. Zip. And I have no money to take him to court in Germany, so it’s going to stay that way as far as I can tell.”
Christine looks dumbstruck.
“Yes, but what about your family? Are they helping you out?”
I smile gently.
“Emotionally? Yes, my parents are super-excited about having a grandchild. Unfortunately, they can’t do much for me financially because it would mean decimating their retirement nest egg, and I don’t want that. So it’s just me and this kid. But we’ll be okay,” I manage in a cheery voice. “You know me. I’m tough.”
With that, my friend gets up from her seat, her chair scraping audibly on the floor.
“Okay, that’s it,” she says in a firm tone. “I’m coming over right now to help you. OMG, I had no idea you were all alone! I’m going to prep some meals for you, go grocery shopping, run to the drugstore,” she says, already starting to pack her bag. But I stop her.
“Thanks, but I’m okay. I’m not an invalid, I just have to watch my stress levels.”
“Right and some home-cooked food might be just what you need,” she continues rambling, now looking for her shoes.
“Chris, Chris!” I call. “You’re really amazing to offer and seriously the sweetest person alive, but first, I’m pretty sure you have no idea how to cook. And two, I can’t take you up on your offer to help. You have two tiny children yourself, so you’re busy. Real busy.”
At that moment, Jeremiah starts wailing, and she frowns. “See?” I ask reasonably. “You’ve got your hands full already.”
Christine sighs.
“Okay, maybe I won’t come over right this second, but I’m still going to help,” she says in a firm tone. “I had no idea that you were this alone, Hannah.”
I smile, a little sadly.
“No, it’s okay. I’m not the first mom who’s going to do it on my own, and I won’t be the last either. I just need to get everything in order, and then it’ll be fine.”
Christine nods, already sensing where this is going.
“What do you mean by getting things in order? That sounds ominous, girlfriend.”
I sigh.
“Well, again CPS has been generous with leave, but some of it’s unpaid. So I need to get my finances on track,” I clarify.
There’s a loaded silence for a moment.
“Have you thought about what I mentioned?” my buddy asks. “That other job, I mean.”
I nod because in fact, my friend has an interesting past. The biological father of her first son tried to terminate Christine’s parental rights, claiming that she was a prostitute, and the truth is that she had been working as a call girl. Evidently, there’s a market for pregnant escorts, and Christine had been making a living by pleasing men. But I never thought about becoming an escort myself … until now.