Relief flooded through me, my body heavy from exhaustion that lingered in my bones. I remembered the flashes, the difficulty to breathe. “I had a panic attack.”
“Your blood pressure dropped and caused you to faint. Of course, having a panic attack along with it didn’t help the matter. But you’re fine now.” He touched the back of his hand against my cheek. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I took his hand in mine and nestled deeper into his touch. “I was going to. Things were just…out of control.”
“You should have told me, Sienna.” I heard the frustration in his voice, and I let go of his hand as I tried to sit up.
“Between being kidnapped by a man I haven’t heard from in weeks and finding out about a cartel of murderers following me, when was I supposed to tell you?”
Noah stood, his faded blue jeans hanging low around his hips, the fabric of his black T flowing seamlessly down the curves of his chest and back. “I thought you were on birth control?”
“I was.” I fumbled with the threaded blanket between my fingers. “They say birth control is ninety-nine point nine percent effective. I guess we got dealt into that other zero point one percent.”
I studied him as he took a seat on the armchair in the corner, wiping his fingers along his chin, his gaze far away along with his thoughts.
Nerves curled up in my gut, and I hated not knowing what he was thinking. “Are you angry?”
“Yes.”
My heart sunk to the soles of my feet, tears stinging my eyes.
“At myself.”
I looked at him with surprise.
“I walked away from you thinking I was protecting you; meanwhile, I was leaving you alone in this.”
“You didn’t know.”
“You’re right. I didn’t. But imagine if I didn’t come back.” He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “Sienna, if I hadn’t come back, I wouldn’t have known, and you—”
“But you did,” I interrupted. “You came back.”
“Because I thought you were in danger.” He got up and stalked toward the bed. “I wasn’t planning on coming back for you. Ever. You had no way of contacting me.” His eyes were dark with regret, his expression laden with lines of guilt. “I’m sorry.” Our gazes locked. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Don’t.” I shook my head. “We can go down this road a thousand times and think of all the ‘what ifs,’ it won’t change anything. You came back. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”
The door opened, and Spencer walked in carrying a brown paper bag. “Oh, good. You’re awake. I went and got you something decent to eat and something other than apple juice to drink.”
Silas stalked in behind him. “There is nothing worse than hospital food.”
“What are you guys doing here?” I asked surprised, vaguely remembering seeing Silas at the cabin and hearing Spencer’s voice.
Noah glowered at them. “They were making noise.”
“They were what?”
Spencer placed the brown paper bag on the bedside table. “We didn’t buy the bullshit text you supposedly sent.”
“We?” Silas glowered at Spencer. “Dude, you were all ‘she’s fine, let’s give her some time’ when I told you I didn’t buy a single fucking word in that goddamn text.”
“Whatever, man. Anyway,” Spencer sat down on the side of the bed, “we started looking for you, and it seemed like you just vanished after meeting up with Andrew.”
Noah scoffed and silently mumbled something as he stepped back and leaned against the wall.
“Your baby daddy’s friend intercepted us before we could go to the cops and told us everything.”
“We couldn’t afford you two assholes making noise. You would have led them straight to us.” Noah crossed his arms and pushed himself off the wall.