“I don’t care.”
“You should. He’ll find you. Find everyone close to you and massacre the whole lot.”
“Thanks to you, there’s no one left to find.”
“The night I came for you, I got to look on the inside of your tiny little bubble. A world far from ours. And I knew killing you wouldn’t be enough. I wanted you to suffer. So, I made sure your entire goddamn world burned down around you…one drop of blood at a time.”
I grabbed a jagged knife, stormed forward, splitting his flesh with the steel. I jerked my arm with every ounce of strength I had, snarling as I shoved the blade deep into his stomach. Without blinking, I watched as his mouth gaped, blood pouring out at the sides, down his jaw and onto his chest.
“This is for her.” With force, I dragged the knife up, feeling how the sharp, jagged edges carved through him, gnawing its way up, tearing through his insides, reaching his chest. “And this is for me.”
I cranked my neck to the side, pushing up my shoulders. “I killed the man who pulled the trigger that night. I gutted him from nose to navel, watched his intestines slither out of him.” I scoffed. “For months, I thought making him suffer and watching him die in a way he deserved would bring me peace. But I was wrong. So fucking wrong.”
Sienna wrapped her arms around me from behind, pressing her front flush against my back as I hung my head down. She didn’t say a word—just sat there holding me. What could she have said anyway? There were no words that could comfort a father’s grieving heart. None.
“My ex-wife never recovered. Her grief drove her mad, and I had no choice but to take her to a place where they could take care of her. I couldn’t. I was already drowning in my grief, and I knew I would never be able to help her. I knew what I was feeling; she was feeling a hundred times worse.”
Suddenly feeling out of breath and claustrophobic, I got up, pulled on my pants and walked to the window before turning to face Sienna, who remained on the bed, clutching the sheet in front of her chest; her eyes red and cheeks wet. “The day I buried my daughter, I vowed that I would never allow myself to love something or someone as much as I loved Evie. I didn’t deserve that kind of love, that unconditional love that you felt in your bones, the love that manifested in the eyes of your child—your own flesh and blood. Losing a child is an indescribable pain,” I slammed a fist against my chest, “it’s like getting your soul ripped from your chest, and every minute of every day feels like you’re dying just a little more. Every morning you wake up, you curse God for not putting you out of your misery by taking your life while you slept.”
I started to pace, tears now rolling freely down my face. “So many times, I tried to do it, tried to kill myself, but then I’d remember the promise I made her.” I paused and glanced out the window into the dark.
“What promise did you make her?”
I glanced in Sienna’s direction as she slipped off the bed and pulled on one of my shirts.
“Ever heard of the blood rain?”
“Um…I’ve heard of it but don’t know much about it.”
“It’s a phenomenon where rain turns red, having the appearance of blood. But it’s actually caused by aerial spores of green microalgae that turn the rain red.” I shrugged and scoffed. “I told her the story of the blood rain not too long before…” my voice trailed off, and I pulled a palm down my face, sniffing and breathing in deep. “I um…I told her about the blood rain and that some people believed it contained alien DNA. Oh, Sienna, you should have seen her. She was fascinated with the idea of aliens and life on other planets. She couldn’t stop talking about it. We couldn’t even walk past a store with a little alien figurine in the window without her wanting it.”
I went to lean against the windowsill, needing the support. “Evie was convinced that God created other worlds just like ours. She said that our world was too beautiful to be the only one. So, she made me promise that I’d take her to see the blood rain.” I placed my hands on my hips. “And I intended to keep that promise, which was why I couldn’t end the pain by taking my own life. Which was why I kept on running, kept on breathing so I could see the blood rain and keep my promise.”
I walked up to Sienna, looking down at her, my insides exposed, and my soul laid bare in front of her. “Like I said…I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you. I was supposed to keep a promise I made to my little girl. But then,” I bit my lip, cupping her cheeks, “then you came along and you gave me hope. You made my grief just a little more bearable. You made me want to live after years of wanting nothing more than to end it all.”
“Noah. Don’t say that.”
“And when I thought I had no choice but to walk away from you, unable to stomach the thought of these fuckers taking one more person away from me, I was right back in that goddamn hole again. But something just kept on telling me to hold on, not to let go.” I pressed my lips against her forehead, pinching my eyes closed as my heart swelled inside my chest. “And that’s what I intend to do, baby girl. I’m never letting go of you ever again.”