Chapter Thirty-One
Sienna
It’s beendays since the sound of my baby’s heartbeat changed my world. Almost a week since that little kidney bean-shaped blob on the screen shook the foundation of my existence. This baby was all I could think about, occupying my every thought. For the first time in so long, Noah leaving me wasn’t the first thing I thought about when I woke up in the morning, even though my heart was still raw with the pain from the hole he had left behind.
I had made up my mind. I was going to keep this baby. But somehow, my decision had turned Noah’s absence into a bitterness that attached black, hardened tentacles of resentment to my heart. He didn’t just leave me; he left us. He left our baby, too.
With every passing day, I became more and more confident that I’d be able to do this without Noah. I didn’t have a choice, which scared me at first. But now, I found renewed strength through my decision to keep the baby.
I settled back on the patio recliner, enjoying the last bit of autumn sun before the winter would come to paint our town a depressing gray. The chill was already in the air, but at least I could feel the sun rays seep through the pores of my cheeks. Most of the leaves had already fallen from the trees, and the russet remains were picked up and carried away by the breeze.
Voices came from inside, and I could hear the distinct shrill of my new stepmother’s voice. I hadn’t seen much of her ever since they came back from the honeymoon, and I chose to see it as God’s way of giving me a little reprieve from the hell I had plummeted in. If I had to deal with her daily and have my dad flaunt his new married life in front of me while my life slowly spiraled, I would have lost my fucking mind.
My phone vibrated, and I picked it up. Even now, weeks after, my heart still skipped a beat whenever my phone rang or pinged with a message. But it’s never him, and I made peace with the fact that it might never be him.
I slid my finger across the screen, and Andrew’s message popped up.
I feel like you might need to get out of the house.
I typed.Why would I need to get out of the house?
Okay, you got me. It’s me. I need to get out of the house. The walls are starting to talk to me.
I smiled.Well, that’s never good. You should probably get out of the house then.
Don’t make me do it alone. Let’s grab something to drink.
Oh, God. Was he asking me out?
I’m not asking you out. I just don’t want to be the pathetic guy who goes out for a drink alone.
I let out a breath and leaned my head back. The last thing I needed was another complication. But the idea of having a friend felt nice. Cleo gave up on me the second week I refused to come out of my room, and I haven’t heard from her since.
Maybe getting out of the house wasn’t such a bad idea. Silas had been biting my ass for the last week to tell Spencer I was pregnant. But I wasn’t ready yet. I think I dreaded telling Spencer more than I did my dad. Spencer and I had always had this close relationship, where Silas and I hardly ever got along. Yet, when it came to sharing my deepest secret with someone, I chose Silas.
I’ll have you home before the streetlights go on.
I stifled a laugh, twirling a curl around my finger. Oh, what the hell.
Pick me up in twenty. The last thing I want is for you to look pathetic.
Thank God. See you in twenty.
Placing my phone on my chest, I looked up at the sky, dark grey clouds starting to smother the sun rays. It felt almost ominous how the threatening rain cast a shadow over the Earth, erasing all signs of the sun and its light which had shone mere minutes ago.
“Here you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”
I looked up at Silas and sat up as he took a seat across from me. “Well, you found me.”
My brother rested his elbows on his knees, rubbing his palms together. The pensive look on his face told me exactly what he had on his mind. “You need to tell Spencer. And Dad.”
I pulled my curls back over my shoulder without responding.
“Sienna, this is not the kind of secret you’ll be able to hide forever. At some point people are going to...you know,” he glanced down at my stomach before looking me in the eye, “notice.”
“I know that, Silas. I’m just not ready yet.”
He pulled a palm down his face, lines of worry forming grooves on his forehead. “Listen, you and I, we don’t have the kind of relationship you and Spencer have. I mean, I love you and all that, and I hate that you’re going through this right now. But I...” He dropped his gaze to his feet.