CHAPTER9
Daisy had done so well the other night until Ellis kissed her thoroughly. The memory of Thomas crushing her lips beneath his and his hands going wherever he wanted had her fighting to keep from punching Ellis. And she’d liked his kiss until the memory invaded her thoughts.
How could you banish a bad remembrance from your mind?
When would she forget about Thomas and the terrible things he’d done?
Later that day, Ellis and Lee requested to take her on a picnic, and it sounded nice, but how would they act alone with her. And could she handle two of them if they tried to do something to her?
No matter what, she could not live through another event like that. She just couldn’t.
Shaking her head, a tremor of unease spiraled down her spine.
“Daisy,” Aunt Grace called her. “Can I please have a word with you?”
All morning, Aunt Grace had been calling the girls in and speaking to each in private. Now it appeared it was Daisy’s turn.
She walked into Doctor Owen’s office. The man was out checking on a patient and Aunt Grace was using his office for their personal talks.
The office held dark furniture with one wall of medical books lining the shelves. There were instruments that she knew the doctor used in his practice and bottles filled with tinctures and pills.
“How are you, dear?”
“I’m well,” she said, though she knew that last night had spooked her.
“Did you like Ellis and Lee?”
Daisy smiled. “Yes, very much. But I need to know them better before I make a decision.”
She needed time to put the past behind her and to make certain she could allow them to kiss and touch her and eventually make love to her. That she could be the wife they deserved. That they were decent men who she could spend the rest of her life with.
Aunt Grace leaned back and studied her. “Many of the girls seemed uneasy with the idea of marrying two men. I was married for many years to both Owen and Silas. We were happy until Silas died. So I wanted to talk to you alone so you could ask any questions you may have.”
What did she say? She didn’t even understand the original sex act except that it was humiliating and painful from what she’d experienced, though the act had been interrupted and Thomas had not had time to take her virginity, thank goodness.
Maybe Aunt Grace could help her.
“You won’t tell anyone my questions?”
“Of course not, dear,” she said, reaching across the desk and grabbing her hands. “We’re just two women talking and what we say to each other stays in this room.”
Before she could stop herself, the story of what Thomas had done to her spilled from her lips. Of how her father had believed him and kicked her to the streets. The nights she spent sleeping in the bushes of the park. She told Aunt Grace everything including how she’d left a painted sign on his gate the night before she left.
The woman howled with laughter. “Son of a bitch deserved what you did. You’re a survivor, Daisy. You’re going to do well here.”
Daisy felt tears well in her eyes. “But yesterday when Ellis kissed me, my mind filled with the memory of Thomas, and I pushed Ellis away. How can I stop this? How can I marry Ellis and Lee if I have this kind of reaction when a man kisses me?”
All night long, she’d worried about her reaction to yesterday’s kiss.
With a sigh, Grace shook her head. “That’s a hard one. Telling you to forget what happened is not good because you will never forget what this man did to you. But you can overcome what happened to you. Do you like Ellis? Do you like Lee?”
Things had been going so well until she reacted to Ellis’s kiss. She liked both of these men.
“Oh, yes, both of their kisses were divine until suddenly my memories returned when Ellis’s lips overpowered mine,” she said.
When she said the words, she realized that was what frightened her, letting another man take control. Because she’d lost all control with Thomas.
“I don’t know if this will work. I’ve never had the experience you’ve had, but when you start to remember, say in your mind stop. This man kissing me is not Thomas. He’s a good man. He’s the man I want to marry and I don’t want my memories keeping me from being happy. I don’t want Thomas to win.”
Daisy tilted her head and thought about what the woman was telling her. Could it work? It was true; she didn’t want Thomas to win, and if memories of his attack kept her from being happy, then he won. Already she’d lost so much because of this terrible man’s actions; she didn’t want to lose this new life too.
“It may not work, but I promise you that even if Ellis wasn’t my nephew, I would tell you he’s a wonderful man. And he will never harm you. You are safe here. He would die protecting you. And Lee is an excellent man as well.”
Today, she would try this to see if it worked. Today, she was determined she was going to get over her fears of being raped. Thomas would not win again.
Staring at the older woman, she wished for just a moment that her own mother was here helping her recover instead of allowing her father to reject her. A pang of homesickness hit her and she had to take a deep breath to push it away.
“Thank you. I’m going to try to do this today when we go out on a picnic,” she said. “I’m sorry to have troubled you with this.”
But if it worked, she would be eternally grateful.