Chapter Six – Luca
My mind raced. I couldn’t control my thoughts, regardless of how much I tried. I stared at Giselle, at her wide, beautifully entrancing brown eyes, wanting her to take it all back, say it was some kind of sick, twisted joke.
But… but it wasn’t. I could tell by the look on her face.
She wasn’t lying.
Giselle. Beautiful, broken Giselle. What could I say? What could I do? Of course I didn’t want to believe her; I think everyone wanted to believe the best in their families, in their parents. I know I did. I didn’t want to believe my father could do something like that, to a fifteen-year-old girl, while still acting like he was happily married to my mother.
Fuck. My mom. I should call her. I should tell her. I should… fuck. What would she do? She didn’t have the power in the relationship, didn’t have the money of the business behind her. If she left my father, she’d be screwed, penniless. My father would hire the best lawyers, ensuring she didn’t get a penny out of him through the divorce.
She was trapped, much like Giselle had been trapped.
Giselle stared at me. The waitress had brought our food, but neither of us touched it. We were too busy staring at each other, waiting for the other to say something more, something that would miraculously make this whole situation better.
I… I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. A part of me was in denial, because of my loyalty to my father, but I couldn’t call Giselle a liar, and judging from the look on her face, there was no way she was lying. That whole story about the priest, almost killing herself; I never imagined Giselle would do something like that.
Killing? Sure. When you were born into families like ours, it was only a matter of time before you tasted blood for the first time. But she was a girl, so she’d been used differently.
By my father.
The thought didn’t sit right in my head, and I was sure the expression on my face told her that I was too shocked to say much of anything. That was a first, for I always had something to say, regardless of the circumstance.
This particular circumstance was not one I ever thought I’d be in, let alone with the girl I liked.
Fuck. What was I supposed to do? If it would’ve been anyone other than my father, I could’ve gone to them, demanded sweet justice in the form of a bullet in the head. But I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t march up to my father and kill him. There weren’t many lines people like us wouldn’t cross, but that was one of them.
Her father had used her as a bargaining chip to mine, and mine took it. He took her for a whole night. As much as I didn’t want to think about it, I couldn’t stop. My father’s hand on her, his other body parts…
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
How was I supposed to eat and act like everything was fine? What was I supposed to say? I’d never… obviously, I’d never been in a situation like this before. I didn’t know what to say, what to do, how to process what I was feeling, let alone try to think about how she felt about all of this.
I settled with muttering, “I don’t know what to say.” Because I didn’t. And since we were in a diner in the middle of what most would consider nowhere, I couldn’t even get some privacy. I couldn’t leave, because then she’d be stranded here by herself—and even though I knew she could take care of herself, I couldn’t shake the other feeling inside of me.
The one that wanted to do nothing more than protect her.
So, yes, I was upset. I was shocked. Maybe a little in denial. I didn’t know what to say. But I also wrestled with the truth, and the truth was I liked this girl so much more than I wanted to admit. So much that I couldn’t think straight half the time. Sure, we hadn’t spent much time together, but did that matter when feelings like these were involved? There was no time limit on caring for someone, on falling in love.
Love. Did I love this girl? Had Giselle wrapped me so tightly around her finger that I couldn’t help but fall for her? When I met her that first night, I’d been captivated, and that feeling had only grown since.
Damn it. Loving her would probably be a mistake. She’d tear my family apart, through no fault of her own. Giselle should be happy, and knowing what she’d gone through, what she said my father did to her… how could she ever be happy with me?
Giselle watched me pick at my food. She didn’t say anything else, nor did I. I had no idea the vibe I gave off, if she thought I was upset or angry with her, if she believed I thought she was a liar. I didn’t; I honestly didn’t, but how could I force her to have faith in me when I couldn’t put my thoughts to words? I couldn’t explain the way I felt in that moment. I just… it was too much.
What I’d hoped would be a date turned out to be nothing more than an uncomfortable silence between us. I couldn’t even look at her, not for long, too busy wrestling with my inner turmoil, over the respect I’d grown for my father all these years. It was an odd thing, to have your world taken and turned upside-down by the one girl you couldn’t imagine your life without. A very odd thing indeed.
What the fuck was I supposed to do?
In the end, I didn’t do much, and I was still too lost in my own thoughts to have regrets about what the date turned into. Neither of us ate much, and when we were finished, I paid, left a nice tip for the waitress, and then I drove us back to Cypress. I didn’t want to go back, but where else could we go? I needed to drop her off, have some time alone.
And speak to my father.
Would I ask him point blank about what he’d done with Giselle? Would I let my fury take control and lose my cool with him? And if I did, what would he say, what would he do? Even I couldn’t answer those questions, but I knew I couldn’t get home soon enough.
The ride back to Cypress was long, and having the music playing on the radio didn’t help any. I could feel Giselle seething, could see the regret in her eyes; I wanted to say something, make her feel better, but I wasn’t good at this. I sure as hell wasn’t expecting the date to turn out like this.
She thought her father had her shot, and my own father was not innocent in her misery.